The play

The play was, um, okay. I don't know, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I've expected. It's probably just me. I have a few things sort of bothering me lately, so maybe I was not in the right mindset when I watched the play.

I was more moved by the book.

But Bart Guingona and the guy who played Morrie were really good... Maybe it was the dialogue that at times were not very clear, or which were garbled a bit.

The theater was filled to capacity. Majority of the audience were students from Sacred Heart School.

In half an hour I will be preparing for my trip to Badian. We will have our second week of clinical duty there. I haven't slept. I spent the rest of the night editing the final copy of our thesis.

Badian is a very nice, quiet little town. There's a very old church beside the district hospital. I'm not sure when it was constructed; probably sometime in the 19th century.

We're staying in a dorm just within the hospital compound. It's really creepy. The hospital itself was built in 1911, if I'm not mistaken. In fact, it's rumoured to be haunted. But no ghosts appeared last week, though. This week, well, I'm not terribly excited of seeing one.

They say that the room below our dorm is actually a morgue. Horror of horrors, I know.

Tuesdays With Morrie theatrical adaptation

You probably already know about this. Premiere theatre group Repertory Philippines will be staging an adaptation of the bestseller Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom. That's tonight at SM Cinema 2.

I got my tickets yesterday. I'm going with my cousin and my ermats. I'm very excited!

For my friends, by way of an explaination

I'm so sorry I wasn't able to reach out to you
for so many days now, weeks even.
I have counted -
three, four, or five weeks maybe.

I have remained silent in my seat.

But how my heart longed to reach out to you,
reach out to you guys.

You are all my friends
but now I have alienated you all.

You cannot understand my behavior.
I've been very, very quiet
each and every day,
morning and afternoon.

You suspect that I have something against you?

But no, there's absolutely nothing wrong with any of you,
and neither of you has done me anything wrong.

It's just me!
I can't understand myself.
I can't understand why I've been acting the way I've been acting.
It's very difficult to explain, even to myself.

I know, you would think, that at my age, I'd be mature enough
not to behave the way i've been behaving lately.
But this is really happening to me.

Let me tell you something about myself that I've never told anyone.
It will be a sort of confession:

I have deep-seated insecurities inside me;
buried very deep inside me.

Many, many years ago, something happened to me that was very painful.
I failed at something.
And each day for two years I lived with that failure.
I slept with it, ate with it, took a shower with it, and breathed with it.


I was able to overcome it, eventually, of course.
The years have a way of making you forget
even the most painful and dark of experiences.

However the seed of failure and rejection have always stayed inside me.
I learned to live with it; even learned to value myself a little bit,
learned to love myself a little more, learned to laugh and live.

Yet the seed have always been there.
And every now and then it rears its ugly head;
it sprouts and blooms and bears bitter fruit.

I've learned, since that painful and traumatic period in my life many, many years ago,
to become a warmer person; I've learned to become more friendly,
learned to trust others and make friends,
learned to smile and give others a glimpse of my soul
-- I've learned all of these wonderful lessons because of you!
Of people like you! Each and every one of you!
who showed me warmness and kindness and shared with me your smiles,
who trusted me and did not hesitate to give me a glimpse of your own souls
-- I've learned all these, and many more.

With your love and kindness and trust, you healed me.

You healed me.

But I still carry the seed
inside me.

No matter how deep I bury it
it is still there
and sometimes it forces its way up towards the surface of my personality,
and when that happens, I lose my energies;
I become apathetic and aloof,
and I seem to draw away from people.
I draw deeper and deeper into my own self,
into my own hollow self.

But this will pass, of course.
It always does.

I guess what this long ramble is leading to is just this:
I simply want to say thank you
for being my friends,
for touching me with your warmness and made me
shine a bit brighter as a person.

Thank you!

Book for February: Love in the Time of Cholera

Love is in the air! Can you smell it?

Our book for the month of February, the month of love, joy and broken hearts, is Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

Want to join our book discussion next month? Read the book and drop me a line for further info.

Some books

I went to Booksale in SM today. Bought two books: Possession by A. S. Byatt and Atonement by Ian McEwan. I was delighted when I saw a copy of the latter.

I also spotted a copy of People of the Lie by M. Scott Peck. I placed it back in the shelf and continued to browse for more books, thinking I'll just pick it up later. Big mistake. Another guy got it while I was away. Of the tons of books in the store, he had to take my book. Yes, it was mine! It became mine the moment I laid eyes on it!

I stalked him for a while and hoped he'd change his mind, that he'd put it down. He never did.

First Book Fellas book discussion, a success

Our first ever book club discussion last Saturday was a success! I'm so glad it went well. There were nine of us in attendance, four of whom I met for the first time that night.

We talked about a lot of things. The protagonist of the story, the setting, the plot, the author's purpose for writing the novel, the ending, and everything in between. It really was a stimulating discussion.

Only one thing got my goat, though, and it's the level of noise from the restaurant's other customers. The place was very quiet earlier in the evening. It was later when the place started to buzz with people.

But Turtle's Nest is really a lovely place. It was my first time in the place. The books in the shelves made a perfect backdrop for our discussion.

I'm happy we're done with our first book. We don't have a second book yet. We're thinking that since it's February we'll read something.... um, "romantic".

Book discussion: I Am Legend

We will be having our first book discussion tonight. The venue is at Turtle's Nest in Lahug. There will be dinner before the discussion. Time: 6:30.

Those who wish to join must have read the book. :-)

Going outta my head

I still haven't finished Argumentation, The Teaching Company lecture I have with me. It's become incredibly boring... It's so irritating. The course is just way over my head... It sucks to know how incapable my mind is at grasping argumentation. I just find it so difficult to understand. The first few lectures I understood enough. They were just about the basic structure of arguments. But the rest of the lectures just became... uh, *gag*...

The material is not working for me. I'll try reading a debating book na lang.

Book for January: I Am Legend

Our book club is underway. We will be having our first book discussion next month. Our first book is I Am Legend by Richard Matheson.

It's not very challenging. I mean I was looking for something more deep, more intellectually stimulating, more poignant, something that will get you emotionally involved in and make you think deep thoughts even after reading it, a pleasure to read, etc. But we chose it in the hope that it will attract more potential members knowing that it's a 'popular' book.

I'm already half-way through the novel and all I can say is that the story is just so-so. I wonder how I'm going to facilitate our discussion next month, since our reading is not very interesting hehehe... (The way we structured it is that each month we will have a three-man committee, composed of the host, the facilitator and the secretary. The host takes care of the book discussion venue, the facilitator takes charge of the discussion itself -- he or she prepares the guide questions, maintains orders, etc., and the secretary is the contact person, records the book list and suggestions for the coming months, the minutes of the meeting and etc. This way the other members can just focus on the reading.)

Still this is all very exciting. I've always wanted to join or start a book club.

But, you may wonder, why join/ start a book club?

Well, a book club will help you grow as a person, too, you know, just like any other club. It provides a place where you can socialize with other people who have similar interests as you. And since this is a book club, it will help you grow intellectually and emotionally as well.

Mr. J asked me the other day, half in jest, why he should join the club (I encouraged him but he's hesitant). He doesn't see the point of reading fiction. What's the point of reading stories that are not real, events that never took place? I told him that fiction is important, too. The stories may just be the author's invention, but they can still be relevant to our personal lives. Our existence as individuals are very limited. We only get to live one single life, after all. Yet by reading, we get to live the lives of others; the scope of our existence is widened. We get to live the emotions and thoughts of countless authors in all their variety. We plunge into the richness of human experience, and in the process we gain wisdom and knowledge, and our lives improve for the better, in a way.

If you're interested in joining our club, let me know. Btw, our club's name is Book Fellas.

Links

I've been planning to change the template of this blog, but I can't get it right. I keep getting an error message from Blogger. I'll put back my blogroll later.

Book club! Book club! Book club!

Nahuman na among Prelim exam ganiha sa Nursing Management so I can now rest a little... And it's the start of our Christmas break already... Merry Christmas to you, dear imaginary reader!

There might be some folks out there who might be interested about this. A week ago I posted a message at Istorya.net inviting people to start a book club. Naay uban ni-express og interest, and a few days later I met up with two ladies to discuss this proposed book club. They were very excited about it, as am I. I've wanted to start or join a book club for the longest time and at last that dream has now been realized.

Tulo pa mi kabuok but I bet managhan pa mi.

So this coming Saturday, December 22, we will be holding our second meeting, to discuss some titles which some people have suggested for our first gathering in January. Sabotan sa group kung unsa ang basahun og i-discuss next month and the coming months pa jud (yup, dapat optimistic jud ta!). Meeting place is at Bo's Cafe in Ayala, at 4pm.

So kinsa to'ng ganahan muapil, adto mo!

One more time:

Book club meeting
When: December 22, 2007, Saturday, at 4PM
Where: Bo's Cafe, Ayala

See you there!

The Golden Compass

Amy Welborn on the Golden Compass:

Here are the basics:

1. Pullman’s triliogy, in his own words is about “killing God.” And yes, God (the Authority, who is really a weak, decrepit, drooling powerless old man) dies.

2. In Pullman’s vision, authority - specifically religious authority, although he is saying all over the place that there’s no reason to think that he’s only talking about religion - is inimical to human freedom. Stands opposed to it.

3. In Pullman’s vision, human beings only find their true selves freed from the enslavement of religious authority. A reverse Garden of Eden scenario - very gnostic - is at the core of this.

Jeffrey Overstreet has seen the film and is observing the embargo on releasing reviews until the release date. However, he has commented:

Today, I saw the movie. And I’m not going to change a word of what I’ve written as a result. If the filmmakers tried to “tone down” the anti-religious content, they pretty much failed. “The Magisterium” is not a term invented by Philip Pullman. It’s a reference to the Catholic church, or at least to the truth that shines through scripture and the history of the church. And it isn’t hard to see that in the film.

Again, I’m not going to repeat what’s being very well said elsewhere. Pullman wrote a set of books to convince young readers that Christianity (and, we can assume, theism, period) is inimical to their true selves, best interests and ultimate happiness.

What I have to say is about the responses to the Nitwits.

1) Of course, as was the case with DVC, sneering is widespread and appropriately accompanied by disdainful sniffing. Hysterical Catholic Apologists bumbling into the Culture Wars. How typically retrograde and frankly, embarrassing. It’s Art.

So what you’re saying…is that this Philip Pullman is the Magisterium? The Authority we Must Not Question?

Oh, I get it.

Well, actually, I don’t.

The irony of trying to shut down debate about a work that sees shutting down debate as a crime against humanity is almost too much.

News flash: Being critical and discerning about entertainment choices is not a sin. Last I heard, it was a positive quality.

If a person says, “Hmm. I read those books. They may have their good points, but they’re not high, irreplacable literature and they are built around a false, misleading, bigoted portrait of religion and God. Nah, don’t think I’ll take the kids to see the movie. Oh, and when people ask me questions about the content, I’ll answer them.”…..

that is not a hysterical, culturally myopic, intolerant response.

It is the product of discernment, like saying, “I want to make sure my daughter isn’t exposed to a steady diet of degrading, sexualized images of what girls and women are supposed to be about and value.” or “This movie is a cheap, really awful, lame entry in the “stupid Christmas season” film genre. We’ll pass.” or “That movie glorifies nihilistic, consequence-free violence. Pass.”

Or, maybe, “Hmm. This Passion of Christ movie..I don’t like the way Jews are portrayed. I don’t like the violence. Doesn’t strike me as true to the Gospels or what I understand the Passion was all about. Don’t think I’ll see it. Won’t take my kids.”

Yeah. Like that.

It is okay. Embrace the discernment. Philip Pullman and New Line Cinema are not The Authority. You don’t have to see their movie. You can even…criticize it.

2) The other response I’m seeing - especially from critics who claim a spiritual bent - is that GC is so, so valuable because it will give parents and young people a great opportunity to discuss the important issues raised by Pullman about religious authority, human freedom, and so on.

Of course, anything can be used as a starting point for discussions on spirituality - a point that Christians engaged with culture know full well. Sometimes rather violent disagreements break out on just that score. Witness the appalled “well, I never” reactions to, say, pondering the darkness, scrambling and conflicted yearning for redemption on The Sopranos.

And at times the desire to scour the culture for anything - anything - as a discussion-starter reaches points of absurdity, as in “Bible Studies” based on The Andy Griffith Show or The Beverly Hillibillies.

So it is not, on its face, absurd to say that yeah, sure, GC can be a starting point for discussion. Got it.

The problem is with this starting point and young people and Catholicism.

Look at this way. After we finish with The Golden Compass, shall we break out The Protocols of the Elders of Zion to open up discussion on Judaism?

Probably not. Why?

Because we recognize that the Protocols are lies. It doesn’t matter that some people ascribe to that world view or believe that Jews are as the Protocols describe them. They are still lies. They are not helpful as a “starting point” for a discussion about the nature of Judaism. The starting point for a good - really good, fruitful discussion - is not the bigoted, agenda-driven misrepresentation of others.

So it is with the Golden Compass. The Authority - the God that is killed - is not the Christian God. It is a caricature - the caricature of every village atheist mired in adolescence. The “reality” that the fantasy is trying to create is that religious authority stands in opposition to truth, and that - via the imagery - that Catholicism is the primary embodiment of this, and ergo, Catholicism stands in opposition to the truth that brings human beings happiness and an awareness of their true selves.

That, of course, is simply not true. Christianity has brought millions - billions - real peace and joy. Christianity has been the framework for intellectual and artistic flourishing. Christianity has provided some - quite a few - of the building blocks for our basic understanding of the dignity of all persons.

Not that there are not problems. Not that authority hasn’t been abused to the detriment of human freedom.

But a truly fruitful discussion of the relationship between human freedom and Christian religious authority has to begin with the truth about Christianity, not a vicious caricature. I’m not saying that it’s impossible for such a thing to happen. But in saying that this is a fantastic way to “introduce” kids to these issues is just wrong because the terms that are set by the novels are patently false. Some defenders are saying that this is precisely the point - that what the Golden Compass teaches us is that if this is God and religion then yes it should die. For of course, Jesus had some things to say about religious authorities who lord it over others without taking on burdens themselves. Jesus had some things to say about the relationship between human beings and the Law. Jesus had some things to say about who God is.

And so, say the defenders…the Golden Compass is really, really Christian.

Okay, but the problem is that it is clear that what Pullman is suggesting is that the whole thing - the whole impulse to find transcendent meaning and authority is false, period. The attempt to make his theme into a muted Christ-like critique of abusive religious authority gives Pullman too much credit.

One way, however, that it could be fruitful is this. What Pullman cleverly explicates is, of course, a set of opinions about religious authority that should be familiar to anyone who works with young people or, in fact anyone who remembers being an adolescent.

Of course, religious authority is the enemy. Because, as an adolescent, I believed that my own way of living out my own vision and yearnings - what lay in my own heart - were sufficient for my happiness, and that any authority that questioned my authority was the enemy of my happiness.

In this sense, Pullman plays on sentiments that almost all young people share, and very expertly. The knowing adult who discusses this with young people has a chance to expose the deceptiveness and falsity of this vision, and to point out the wishful, prolonged adolescence at the heart of Pullman’s work, and then to move forward, pointing out its falsity.

Because it is false. At the heart of Christianity is this amazing paradox. The first shall be last. In death there is life. In being joined to Christ, I am free.

I often find it helpful to point out to young people who are struggling (justifiably) with the issue of personal freedom and what seems like absurd religious authority to consider the experiences of converts - from Paul to Augustine to Dorothy Day. We reflect on what they say about what has happened to them - and invariably, what jumps out is not the idea “Hooray, I’m now imprisoned in a dungeon of rules and obligations and my true self is obliterated Shut the door and throw away the key! “

Not quite. It’s the opposite, isn’t it. Peace. Joy. Love.

Freedom.

At last.

Freedom.

It is worth contemplating those experiences, long and hard. And honestly. For the truth is - and I know this from teaching - as much as you try to present the Good News as the Good News of real freedom rooted in the love of God for us - young people resist it. They still see it all as a Plot. Sometimes that is our fault - how many people have walked away from organized religion because it has, indeed, been presented as nothing more than obligations, mostly rooted in fear? But I think we also have to be honest about, well, Original Sin. There is a part of human nature that continues to resist Love no matter what, that persists in seeing it all as nothing more than a potential prison.

But you know what? These are issues that come up very naturally in the lives of adolescents. They are pretty much always present. You don’t need to give Philip Pullman and the makers of this film more money in order to make the discussion happen, just as you didn’t need to add to Dan Brown’s pile of money he’s sitting on up there in New Hampshire to have interesting discussions on Christian origins and Mary Magdalene.

Having good discussions about the nature of religious authority, particularly in the context of one’s own religious tradition is harder when you’ve got the bigotry and unthinking caricatures to slog through.

I have to say, I thought what Fr. Martin Fox had to say about this was very wise, and I’ll let him conclude:

Instead of the $20-50 you may spend at the theater, stay home with a good video and have pizza; you’ll have money left over, you can give to the hungry. That will be a golden lesson that will point your children in the right direction.

Hmmm... Will you watch the movie? You've probably seen it already. Ako wa pa, pero I might. Na-intriga lang ko. Controversial man gud hehehe.

Powerbooks is in Cebu!

Have you already been to Powerbooks in SM? Wow! I didn't even know they were opening a branch here in Cebu. Another wow! I was totally blown away.

I've been there this afternoon and, oh my... book lover's heaven... Well, um, I'm not even really a book lover, but I became very excited when I went inside the store. The whole place is filled with books! Books were just everywhere, and the whole place is actually huge! The ambiance is also very lovely, the area is very wide and there is much room for you to do your browsing.

They have plenty of titles not found in National Bookstore. Finally we have an alternative to National. The prices, though, are quite high.

I found a few volumes of Neil Gaiman's series of graphic novels Sandman. I found plenty of biographies. Plenty of contemporary fiction. But, sadly, only a negligible display of Filipiniana.

The new Northwing annex is really, really huge. I didn't expect it would look that way. I had imagined it differently. You'll feel like you're in a totally new mall, not in SM, or at least another SM branch somewhere outside Cebu (I haven't visited the other SM branches besides SM Davao). In fact, I felt like I was malling someplace else, not in Cebu.

Only a few shops are open so far. Aside from Powerbooks, there's Pizza Hut, a Thai restaurant (I think), a photoshop, a dental spa (Whoa! I haven't heard of this before!), a general clinic, a sewing service shop, and a few others.

But I felt more at home with the old part of SM. And I missed National Bookstore. For me, at least for now, I like to browse for books at National more than in Powerbooks. Mas at home ko sa National kay it's not that huge and, well, na-anad na ko didto. But the sheer number of titles in Powerbooks is dazzling!

Music, books, nursing

Currently:

1. Bobbing head to The Roots' Game Theory. I love it! I didn't like it the first time, but it gets better with each listening... I also loved Things Falls Apart.

2. Reading F. Sionil Jose's Po-on, the first of the Rosales novels.

3. American Gods. My first Neil Gaiman.

4. Listening to Argumentation, a series of lectures by The Teaching Company. (Did you watch the battle between Ateneo de Manila and Ateneo de Zamboanga last Wednesday at Square Off? It was awesome!)

5. Recovering from a very, very busy week at the hospital. I finally got an OR case yesterday. I was in the OR the whole day and we got the last operation for the AM shift. Appendectomy. Three down, two to go...

Commu

This week we can be seen in the Commu Ward of Vicente Sotto. Pedia. My busiest week yet as a nursing student. We have six patients each. Two SOAPIEs. It's so draining. The environment is too hot, plus we have to wear a gown, bonnet and mask which makes things worse.

But today we all did okay, I think, unlike yesterday. We were kind of shocked because it was the first time in a long time we were assigned to the ward. Our duty in Barili a couple of weeks ago was easy-going, there was not much pressure. Our duty in the commu ward this week is the complete opposite.

Tonight I will be going again to the OR in Sotto for my completion duty. I was not able to get a case last week because there were five other schools besides us. I hope I can get one tonight.

I'm waking up early because I'm watching Square Off: The Philippine Debate Championship on ANC. I see the show whenever I can.

After my OR duty I go straight to my commu duty. What a life.

The Hospicio de San Jose de Barili

We are really thankful that we were able to go on duty at the Hospicio de San Jose. It was truly a learning experience for all of us. We learned a lot from our conversations with the beneficiaries – from talking to them and listening to their stories and from serving them. It's too bad we only stayed there for a week. We would have learned more if we stayed for two weeks. But then, our stay there was hard on the wallet. Also, we would've become more attached to our patients – saying goodbye would've become more difficult. More tears would've been shed, not just by the students but also by the beneficiaries.

Just like lola Margarita. She's not my patient, but I love sitting beside her and talking to her. I love to listen to her old Tagalog songs. I don't even know the title of those songs. When I asked her about them, she gave me the names of the artists who sang them. I did not recognize a single name. I suppose they were famous during Lola Margarita's time. She sings because she has no other use for her time. I mean, apart from eating, going to the bathroom, and sleeping, she has no other use for her time, so she sings, and if there's someone beside her willing to listen, she talks. She related to me her story, of how she had so many 'apos', her siblings' children, and how she loved them so much and took care of them. I asked her if she ever married and she said no, because she was too busy taking care of her 'apos'. I asked her where they are now, she told me they're somewhere in Baguio. Did they know that she's here in Barili? She looked at me with uncertainty in her eyes then said no.

When I bade farewell to lola Margarita on our last day, I couldn't forget her reaction. She broke down and cried like a child. She said that it's so difficult that we had to leave her again. By "we" she probably meant her student nurses. She expressed to me how hard it is to be there, how endless the days were for her, just sitting at her cot all day with nothing else to do and no one to talk to, no one to share her concerns with. She was also very much frustrated (to the point of becoming irate) with her neighbor, Lola Agatona, who was always angry at her and at everybody else, who always threw curses and threats. She says she couldn't sleep sometimes because of her. All she could do to get back at her enraged neighbor was to taunt her with her songs.

I was actually assigned to lolo Basilio, lola Arsenia, and lola Leona. Lolo Basilio was in the infirmary. He couldn’t talk very well and his body was so stooped that his back was “humplike”. He doesn’t talk unless you talk to him first, and his voice is barely audible. When you ask him a question he always answers with another question. He seems to get confused at times, like when you tell him that it’s time to take a bath or take a walk he always asks you, “Para asa man na?” or “Ngano man?” or “Dili na makadaut?” But he still remembers who he is, and where he came from. He’s from Negros and he was a farmer. He often forgets, though, that he’s in Barili, at the Hospicio. Lola Leona is from Cebu. Her children died some years ago. She admitted herself in the Hospicio because she couldn’t take care of herself very well where she lived, and neither can her relatives. Who can blame her? Life outside, if you are hard up financially, is hard, so you can’t really rely on relatives for your welfare. She said she only ate one meal a day where she lived. In the Hospicio, she said, things are better because at least you can eat three meals a day, plus snacks. You have a bed, a roof over your head, and you have people your age you can talk to. But, she admits, she still feels lonely sometimes. It’s different when you have your family with you, she told me. She also cried during our culminating activity. I gave her a flower and placed her hand to my forehead as a sign of respect, and kissed her cheek. She cried because she was reminded of her sons.

One remark she made during one of our conversations really struck me: “Bati kaayo ang kinabuhi.” Life for her was always hard since she was little, and now that she’s old, she still has no respite from life’s pains. Lola Arsenia’s story is more or less the same. She, too, doesn’t have any relatives anymore. They have all died; those that remained had probably forgotten her.

There were also other tragic stories like those of lola Dulce and lolo Elly. Lola Dulce was once very rich, but she lost it all, and now she’s alone in the Hospicio. Lolo Elly was an engineer in an international ship. He had three houses and five cars! His monthly earnings were that big. But one tragedy followed another. He had a stroke, lost his job, lost his wife, and then, too, his son. So he sold all his houses and all his cars. He has nothing left. His only treasures now are his books. He keeps them in his closet. He showed them to me once. Most of them are war novels. He loves war novels. And each book was given as a gift to him by his previous student nurses. He was so happy when he showed to me each of the notes that the students wrote for him in the books. They were very heart-warming. On our last day, I gave him a copy of The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin.

I remember one lolo who was very talkative. I forgot his name, though. But he is a man overflowing with knowledge and ideas. In a span of a few minutes, he was able to talk to me about different kinds of musical instruments, chemical products, business ideas, riddles or “tigmo-tigmo” as a superior form of entertainment than singing, and Catholic apologetics. There’s nothing wrong with him at all, it’s just that he is so full of ideas and knowledge but he has no one to discuss these topics with. He is like a fragile dam ready to burst into a torrent of ideas at the slightest invitation. You can spend one whole day with him and he will probably not run out of things to say to you. What he needs is someone who is willing and has the patience and stamina to listen to him.

Each beneficiary have their own stories to tell, but all stories have something in common: they’re in the Hospicio because no one can or is willing to take care of them. Either their significant others have already gone over to the next life or they’re still alive but have already forgotten, or chose to forget, them. But is it so bad to be in the Hospicio? I mean, life is relatively good there. There’s food, shelter, and clothing, all for free. They can barely get three decent meals a day outside. They should feel very blessed! Indeed, they do feel blessed and fortunate that they have a place like the Hospicio to answer all their physiologic needs. Beyond the physiologic needs, though, lies the more complex and abstract needs of love and companionship, and they are not easily met. Sure, the lolos and lolas have each other, but it’s truly different when the people that you have around you, the people that you sleep with every night, the people that you see when you wake up in the morning and whom you take breakfast, lunch and dinner with, are your family members.

It’s good that each week or every two weeks the beneficiaries see new faces. The student nurses really help a lot. The Hospicio can become a very dreary and lonely place, especially for people who are at the latter phase of this cycle called life. The students bring vitality and variety to their day to day life. It’s also beneficial on the part of the students. In addition to contributing to their knowledge about and exposure to geriatrics, it also gives them a chance to glimpse the reality of life – that all of us must grow old one day. We need to be prepared for that day. In the meantime, we must live our lives as best as we can, loving as best as we can. We must apply our whole selves to what is good and beautiful while we still can.

The structures of the Hospicio are really admirable. Some people found it creepy because of its age, which dates back to the 1920s, but there’s something beautiful about structures with historic value, things that have graced the course of time. There’s plenty of archaic stuff in the Hospicio. The design of the buildings and structures themselves are archaic. The style is circa 19th century. The Capiz shells on the windows are very lovely. One can easily imagine a Maria Clara gazing outside the window listening to her suitor’s ‘harana’. Inside the houses and buildings, the space is wide and the ceiling is far above your head. Nineteenth-century houses are magnificent works of art! You should also see the old house in the Villa, a property which I guess the Cui family is also part-owner. That one is more beautiful.

Beside the kitchen, you will see a very ancient-looking weighing scale. We wonder if it is still being used today.

We hope that the Hospicio de San Jose will continue in its mission to serve the indigent, invalid and abandoned elders for many, many more decades to come. Don Pedro and Dona Benigna must really be proud of what they have started.

Preparing for the local board exam

We already started our refresher review for the local board exam last Friday and Saturday. The lecturer was Mrs. Pestano, a former dean of Southwestern University and an alumna of Cebu Doctors' University.

The lectures were not bad, I mean they were not totally boring. It would be terrible if the lectures were boring because the review lasted for a whole day. Mrs. Pestano has sense of humor, although I don't find some of her jokes funny.

One of her suggestions to us in preparation for the board is that we should start practice answering 100-item tests on a daily basis. Then, a few months before the exam, 200-item tests, then 300, etc., as the exam draws near.

Oh my goodness...

This afternoon I bought a copy of a local board reviewer by R. A. Gapuz. Mahal kaayo, pero it might help me... I'm also planning to buy a Saunders NCLEX reviewer. Grabe ka expensive ang nursing... I'm just thinking, grabe siguro ang profits sa nursing publishing business no?

Fright night

Tonight I will be going to Vicente Sotto for my completion duty at the OR. I feel so tensed. Wala ko kaila sa akong mga kauban. I just bought the slot from a friend.

Another reason why I'm so anxious is that it's been awhile since I last went on duty at the OR. I've forgotten how to prepare the instruments before surgery and I've forgotten how to conduct myself during the operation. Yes, I've been exposed to the OR many times before, but this will only be the third time I will play the role of the scrub nurse.

Hopefully I'll be done before 7 in the morning so I can have my breakfast and attend my 8 o'clock class in Banilad.

The Villa in Barili

Last week we had our clinical duty at the Hospicio de San Jose in Barili. We stayed in a place that is owned by a Yu family. I think the Cui family is also a co-owner of the property.

The place, Villa as it is simply called, is beautiful, but food was our main problem. We had to go to the market to buy our food and other necessities because the place did not have its own kitchen where someone cooked for us, unlike the boarding house we stayed in during our clinical duty in Toledo. So we, or rather some of our classmates, cooked and prepared the meals for all of us. We were lucky that a cook was in our midst. Occasionally, though, we ate outside.

The rooms where we actually slept were decent enough. I mean, they were clean and air-conditioned. But the space was a bit small for us. There were five rooms in all (if I remember correctly). The first room was shared by the guys, while the second and third were occupied by the females. Our clinical instructors got the fifth room. Below the bed rooms were the shower rooms and bathrooms.

The small building has a terrace, so when you step outside your room you will immediately see the view outside. You will see the lot, how wide it is. You will see coconut plants and many kinds of garden plants. Directly in front of the building you will see the huge swimming pool. To your right you will see a very old house. In fact, it's a 19th-century house. The style, of course, is Spanish. Panahon nilang Rizal. I really love looking at those big windows with all those Capiz shells. It's so beautiful because it looks so archaic and quaint. The house itself is made up largely of hardwood. The ceiling is supported by large hardwood trees. On the beams are carvings of fruits that looked like papayas and lanzoneses. The staircase is wide and the balustrades are so beautifully crafted. The house is really a work of art! That's the case with all 19th-century Spanish houses, I guess. They're built with aesthetics in mind; they're not just functional. Most modern houses, on the other hand, are just all about functionality.

Villa is quiet creepy, too. I mean, daghan ghost stories didto, encountered by previous groups. Maayo na lang wala mi ka-experience og mga multo didto hehe...

Our duty at the Hospicio was okay. Maybe I'll talk about it at another time.

Back from Negros

We just got back from Negros. The trip didn't feel that long, or tiresome. Thanks to the wonderful technology of audiobooks. I just listened to Atonement by Ian McEwan. I'm not finished with it yet. It's such a long book (yet the hardcopy I saw at National's looked slim). I'm listening to it because a movie version of the novel is coming out soon. It is starred by Kiera Knightley. She also did Ms. Elizabeth Bennett in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. I already heard his The Cement Garden and On Chesil Beach. I loved the latter book, although it was an abridged version by the BBC.

I didn't see ghostly apparitions this time, though. On the evening of All Saints Day I was outside the old house's gate again, raising my cellphone to find some signal. But no child appeared.

One aunt talked about aswangs the following night. People in the provinces talk about aswangs as if they're very real and commonplace. "So and so, daughter of so and so, is an aswang," she said. "They often wander about in the night." She wanted me to accompany her to another aunt's house, which was just next door. It was pitch black outside. When I had to take a leak, I leaked at the nearby garden, because the bathroom was a little too far away. I had to look out not only for ghosts but for winged monsters, too, who can snatch people away ala-Jeepers Creepers. "Dili siguro ko madagit og aswang tita kay bug-at man ko," I told her.