Friday, March 10, 2006

Nostalgic about PS

I met Marty tonight at National Bookstore in Ayala. She's our officemate when Pangga and I were still working in PS. She was still the same cool person I knew her to be. I waved my hand in front of her to disrupt her distant glance and she was surprised to see me. She is now a TRON (I forgot what this stands for), meaning she no longer takes calls and troubleshoots client internet problems (technical support, which was very hard and emotionally draining, especially when you're not used to irate customers). She now coordinates with technicians who fix clients' internet problems at their homes. That's a far easier job to handle than what we in our batch first dealt with. Memories came flooding in. I became nostalgic again about PS. These questions came back to haunt me again: "Would I have been happier if I stayed in PS a little while longer, at least until the time I can get promoted to another department and to a more bearable kind of job? Did I make the biggest mistake in my life by leaving PS? Was I such a great fool?" Yet, that night when I decided never to report for work again, I felt sure that I never wanted to work in PS again. I felt quite certain that I can't take anymore my job, that I've had it with call center life. I even assured myself that I will never ever regret my decision to leave. Strange how things change as time pass by. I now doubt whether I made the right decision. I now doubt whether what I did was wise. In fact, sometimes I find myself criticizing my decision as totally foolish. I find myself telling myself that I lacked foresight and did not use my head. That's why these days I've learned never to make decisions based on mere feelings... And I now admit that my decision then was based on my feelings. I did not use reason.

Even now I am still amazed how radically different my life has changed since I left PS. It's quite painful to contemplate, that often I shun the memory off, and choose to focus instead on the present.
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