Hawiran ta ang kagabhiun

I was listening to this AM radio program tonight and I just realized how much I love classic Cebuano music.

The program is called "Hawiran ta ang kagabhiun". Isn't that title so poetic? :) The format of the "show" is like this: They have "hanaristas" in the studio and people call in or text to request their favorite classic Cebuano songs.

I just feel that these classic Cebuano songs (I call them "classic" because they're immortal, they have survived the test of time) are cultural treasures; they hold within them the soul of our culture; they hold within them our identity.

How sad it is that these treasures are dying, because fewer and fewer people continue to appreciate them. They're mostly those who belong to the older generation. Probably these treasures will die when this older generation will be gone. I really hope that those who belong to the younger generation will appreciate and preserve this great treasure that we have. The growth of the "Bisrock" music scene might be seen as a hopeful sign. Majority of the "followers" of this scene are teenagers. Appreciation of Cebuano rock music can probably lead to appreciation of classic Cebuano songs.

Catch "Hawiran ta ang kagabhiun" every Sunday, 7 to 9 PM at DYRF (1215 in your AM radio dial).

Remember The Flying House?

Back from EBH

I got back yesterday from our 3-day duty in a birthing home in Lapu-Lapu. We only got 4 deliveries (we were divided into 4 groups with 3 members each - one to handle the delivery, another to assist, and a third to do the cord care - so we only got 1 case each). That was our last birthing home for this semester. Next semester we will be assigned mostly in the Operating Room area of different hospitals. The Professional Regulatory Board requires 5 handled cases, 5 assisted cases, and 5 cord care... I don't know how I'm going to complete these requirements, because my total so far is only 1 handled case, 1 assisted, and 1 cord care.

Two wonderful programs on the (AM) radio

Two great radio programs I have "discovered" last week: One is a Catholic apologetics program hosted by Socrates Fernandez (yes, the present Talisay mayor), and the other a program on Cebuano dialect and culture.

I have often wondered why we don't have any Catholic apologetics radio programs here in Cebu. I thought that maybe there are such programs but that I just don't know when they air because I seldom check the radio for them. Last Saturday I chanced upon one. Soc Fernandez apparently is a very learned apologist. He can answer all sorts of questions about the faith and theology and quote verses from the Bible to illustrate or support his explanation.

The program uses the vernacular language. It airs every Saturday (5-7 PM) and Sunday (6-8 PM). Turn your AM radio dial to 1215.

The second program is over at DYAB. It airs every Sunday from 4 in the afternoon till 6. It's a very enriching program because it talks about Cebuano culture and dialect.

To digress a little bit, do you know what's the Bisaya word for "music"? Obviously, it's not "musika", because it is simply derived from the English word. "Kanta"? Nope, I don't think so. We probably borrowed it from the Tagalogs. "Awit"? Yes, but there's actually a more unique word for it...

"Saluma"

When I first heard it I thought it is so beautiful. Saluma... I don't know, I may be romanticizing a bit, but doesn't it perfectly capture the idea and experience of "music" for us Bisayas? The sound of the word evokes an ancient feeling inside me... maybe there *is* such a thing as a "national soul"? :)

Take for example, when you say "I love you" to your significant other, does it fully express what you really feel for him or her? Now consider saying "Nahigugma ako kanimo" or "Gihigugma tika kaayo" or "Gihigugma tika nga wa'y sama"... Lol... I wonder how many people use such expressions nowadays. We think nga para ra na sa mga tiguwang, o nga baduy ra kaayo na paminawun, o nga makatindog og balahibo, which just shows clearly that we still have a deeply-ingrained "colonial mentality". But anyway, doesn't these expressions more fully capture our sentiments and emotions? :)

Someday I'll post samples of classic Cebuano songs here, including verses from a Bisayan translation of the Song of Songs (Awit) from the Bible. The Song of Songs contains plenty of examples of passionate exchange between lovers (hard to believe it's in the Bible; the passionate love is actually understood to mean God's love for his children and vice versa). We will see how deep and how beautiful our dielect is.

This coming Saturday, September 30, there will be a Cebuano music concert at the Mandaue Sports Complex. I think most of the songs that will be played will be classic Cebuano music. The show will start at 7:30 in the evening. I have no idea how much is the entrance fee.

The pope's point

Today's Inquirer editorial:

Papal point

POPE BENEDICT XVI HAD INTENDED HIS SIX-DAY visit to his native Germany to be a restful but meaningful homecoming. Like his great predecessor who had been the first non-Italian in 400 years to become pope and who had made a moving homecoming to his native Poland a year after his election to the papacy in 1979, Benedict, the former Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, had wanted to make his Bavarian visit a symbolic “return of the native,” a reaffirmation of the roots of his person and the roots of the faith.

The visit turned out to be too meaningful for comfort; and it was anything but restful. By quoting a 14th-century Byzantine emperor on Islam—“Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached”—during a university address, Benedict has riled Muslims and even some Christians and sparked a global conflagration. Catholic churches and Catholics in Islamic countries have been attacked.

The Pope has said he is “deeply sorry” (some linguists say the English translation should have been “deeply saddened”) that Muslims have been offended by the quotation. He clarified that in no way does the quotation reflect his opinion. He has also explained that his university address has been misinterpreted and that he has a “deep respect” for Islam.

In hindsight, the “misinterpretation” seems a “miscontextualization.” The quote from the emperor of Constantinople, Manuel II Paleologus, consists of 32 words out of a text of more than 3,000 words (at least in the English translation of the German original)!

To be sure, the overall text must balance and complement those 32 words, which everyone must be reminded is a quotation that merely served to illustrate a point. And what was the point of the address? It was about the rationality of faith, about the Hellenic or rational influence on Christianity that makes of the religion a marriage of faith and reason. Definitely the hysterical reaction in the Muslim world and some sectors of Christianity is an ironic counterpoint to what the Pope was trying to say in an eminently academic, level-headed, and, yes, rational way.

But was the Pope irresponsible in using the controversial quotation? However incendiary the import of the quotation, the Pope indicated he did not share the opinion of the emperor about the evil and inhumanity of Islam. But he indicated that the quotation from the “erudite” emperor should show that rationality plays an essential role in the faith, and this rationality is translated into peaceful resolution of differences; in short, in dialogue.

That rationality is eminently dialogical and peaceful was demonstrated by the fact that the Pope was delivering an address to his old university of Regensburg. In fact, he opened his address to the students and faculty with a fond recollection of those days in the academe when “despite our specializations which at times make it difficult to communicate with each other, we made up a whole, working in everything on the basis of a single rationality with its various aspects and sharing responsibility for the right use of reason.”

And the dialogical rationality of the faith was also embodied by the Pope’s quotation of the emperor that was uttered in the context of a discussion with a Persian scholar—and a Muslim at that!

The Pope, in fact, said that the remark about Islam as “evil and inhuman” was delivered with “startling brusqueness.” The severity of the remark then was merely a dramatic flourish to what the emperor was trying to point out:

“The emperor, after having expressed himself so forcefully, goes on to explain in detail the reasons why spreading the faith through violence is something unreasonable. Violence is incompatible with the nature of God and the nature of the soul. ‘God,’ he says, ‘is not pleased by blood—and not acting reasonably is contrary to God’s nature. Faith is born of the soul, not the body. Whoever would lead someone to faith needs the ability to speak well and to reason properly, without violence and threats.’”

The pre-eminent rationality of the faith, the Pope went on to expound, must be maintained amid a Europe that has lost all sense of faith because of extreme rationality and secularity. He said rational faith is needed in the discussion with the great cultures and religions of the world.

It is the tragedy of our time that a great address that exalts reason and dialogue should be drowned in the din and blare of hatred and irrationality.

They also published the pope's lecture in the Talk of the Town section here and here.

Politically-motivated, too

The angry reaction to the pope's lecture is politically motivated too, explains this article:

Anyway, it looks like the reaction of Muslims were not as violent or as bloody as the leaders wished them to be and that's why they're now provoking and yelling at the "sleeping" masses and pushing them to show more fury.

They want to add another big scene to the countless previous ones—angry mobs burning flags and pledging to destroy the "infidels".

Actually their latest calls for MORE ANGER are becoming pretty much like begging.
Iran thinks the Muslim people fell short of doing their duty and Qaradawi calls Muslims to have a "day of fury".

All these are theatrical acts directed by governments and corrupt clerics seeking controlled anger among the mobs to use in intimidating the west and discouraging it from applying more pressure on, or calling for changing, these tyrannical regimes.

Such calls are taking the headlines in the governments-controlled media in the Arab countries, and the governments, whether religious or secular, are promoting this provocation of anger.
Meanwhile, voices of reason are being pushed to the rear to appear in a short subtitle or in a tiny corner in the 10th page, or even not mentioned at all.
What the rulers want is the anger that the masses, in the eyes of the rulers, did not express enough of.

What has to be done now from the governments' perspective is to lash those lazy masses with the whips of the media and religion to do more angry protests and show more fist-shaking on TV.

For a while let the people forget about poverty, hunger, terrorism, illiteracy and other problems of the region… And let's redirect the world's attention from "insignificant" issues like Darfur, nuclear reactors, Hizbollah's defiance or Syrian and Iranian meddling with Iraq's or Lebanon's affairs.
What matters now is anger and only anger.

More here.

"Good pope vs. bad pope"

John Paul II, "pope of peace" vs. Benedict XVI, "pope of dogmatic rigidity"?

Think again.

"Flipino" review

Resty Odon reviews Dong Abay's new album "Flipino".


(Via Expectorants)

I've always been a fan of Dong Abay since Yano. I love his album with Pan. Now that group has disbanded and he has since gone solo. I saw his new album in a record store some time ago and thought I might buy it someday. Now I'm pretty excited to get my hands on a copy.

What was the Pope saying?

First, read the lecture.

Then, listen to these two podcasts from The Hugh Hewitt Show:

Father Richard John Neuhaus of First Things reacts to the controversy over Pope Benedict's comments on Islam

Former Cardinal Ratzinger student, Father Joseph Fessio, on the Pope's speech last week at Regensburg University

They are very helpful in helping us understand what the Pope was saying.

A Challenge, Not a Crusade

Here's a nice article to help put context to the controversy.

A Challenge, Not a Crusade
By John Allen
NY Times

SEEN in context, Pope Benedict XVI’s citation last week of a 14th-century Byzantine emperor who claimed that the Prophet Muhammad brought “things only evil and inhuman” to the world was not intended as an anti-Islamic broadside. The pope’s real target in his lecture at the University of Regensburg, in Germany, was not Islam but the West, especially its tendency to separate reason and faith. He also denounced religious violence, hardly a crusader’s sentiment.

The uproar in the Muslim world over the comments is thus to some extent a case of “German professor meets sound-bite culture,” with a phrase from a tightly wrapped academic argument shot into global circulation, provoking an unintended firestorm.

In fact, had Benedict wanted to make a point about Islam, he wouldn’t have left us guessing about what he meant. He’s spoken and written on the subject before and since his election as pope, and a clear stance has emerged in the first 18 months of his pontificate. Benedict wants to be good neighbors, but he’s definitely more of a hawk on Islam than was his predecessor, John Paul II.

The new pope is tougher both on terrorism and on what the Vatican calls “reciprocity” — the demand that Islamic states grant the same rights and freedoms to Christians and other religious minorities that Muslims receive in the West. When Benedict said in his apology on Sunday that he wants a “frank and sincere dialogue,” the word “frank” was not an accident. He wants dialogue with teeth.

Roman Catholicism under Benedict is moving into a more critical posture toward Islamic fundamentalism. That could either push Islam toward reform, or set off a global “clash of civilizations” — or, perhaps, both.

Personally, Benedict’s graciousness toward Muslims is clear. For example, when Ayatollah Mohammad Emami Kashani, a member of the powerful Guardian Council in Iran, wrote a book comparing Islamic and Christian eschatological themes in the 1990’s, Benedict, then Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, swapped theological ideas with him in the Vatican.

Immediately after his installation Mass last year, Benedict thanked Muslims for attending an inter-faith meeting. “I express my appreciation for the growth of dialogue between Muslims and Christians,” he said. “I assure you that the church wants to continue building bridges of friendship with the followers of all religions.”

Yet Benedict has also challenged what he sees as Islam’s potential for extremism, grounded in a literal reading of the Koran. In a 1997 interview with me, he said of Islam, “One has to have a clear understanding that it is not simply a denomination that can be included in the free realm of pluralistic society.”

In the same interview, he accused some Muslims of fomenting a radical “liberation theology,” meaning a belief that God approves of violence to achieve liberation from Israel. He also said he opposed Turkey’s candidacy to enter the European Union, arguing that it is “in permanent contrast to Europe” and suggesting that it play a leadership role among Islamic states instead.

Thus it’s no surprise that Benedict has struck a different tone from his predecessor. John Paul met with Muslims more than 60 times, and during a 2001 trip to Syria became the first pope to enter a mosque. He reached out to Islamic moderates. He talked of Muslims and Jews along with Christians as the three “sons of Abraham.” And he condemned injustices thought to be at the root of Islamic terrorism.

Desire for a more muscular stance, however, has been building among Catholics around the world for some time. In part, it has been driven by persecution of Christians in the Islamic world, like the murder of an Italian missionary, the Rev. Andrea Santoro, in Trabzon, Turkey, in February. A 16-year-old Turk fired two bullets into Father Santoro, shouting “God is great.” But perhaps the greatest driving force has been the frustrations over reciprocity. To take one oft-cited example, while Saudis contributed tens of millions of dollars to build Europe’s largest mosque in Rome, Christians cannot build churches in Saudi Arabia. Priests in Saudi Arabia cannot leave oil-industry compounds or embassy grounds without fear of reprisals from the mutawa, the religious police. The bishop of the region recently described the situation as “reminiscent of the catacombs.”

The pope is sympathetic to these concerns, as several developments at the Vatican have made clear.

At a meeting with Muslims in Cologne, Germany, last summer, Benedict urged joint efforts to “turn back the wave of cruel fanaticism that endangers the lives of so many people and hinders progress toward world peace.”

On Feb. 15, he removed Archbishop Michael Fitzgerald, who had been John Paul’s expert on Islam, as the president of the Pontifical Council for Interreligious Dialogue, sending him to a diplomatic post in Egypt. Archbishop Fitzgerald was seen as the Vatican’s leading dove in its relationship with Muslims.

That same month, Bishop Rino Fisichella, the rector of Rome’s Lateran University and a close papal confidant, announced it was time to “drop the diplomatic silence” about anti-Christian persecution, and called on the United Nations to “remind the societies and governments of countries with a Muslim majority of their responsibilities.”

In March, Cardinal Camillo Ruini, the pope’s vicar for Rome, voiced doubts about calls to teach Islam in Italian schools, saying he wanted assurance that doing so “would not give way to a socially dangerous kind of indoctrination.”

And on March 23, Benedict summoned his 179 cardinals for a closed-doors business session. Much conversation turned on Islam, according to participants, and there was agreement over taking a tougher stance on reciprocity.

Through his statements and those of his proxies, Benedict clearly hopes to stimulate Islamic leaders to express their faith effectively in a pluralistic world. The big question is whether it will be received that way, or whether it simply reinforces the conviction of jihadists about eternal struggle with the Christian West.

John L. Allen Jr. is the Vatican correspondent for The National Catholic Reporter.

The controversy over the Pope's lecture

Amy Welborn: "This is not an effective way to argue against someone who has questioned your religion's relationship to violence:"



More photos:





Outside the Vatican embassy in Indonesia. The caption reads: "Let's crucify the Pope."

And a British blogger had this experience when going to Mass at a Cathedral (he/she also has some photos):

Unfortunately after Mass today at Westminster Cathedral it was shoved in my face. Holy Mass on a Sunday is the very source and summit of the Catholic week, so my family decided this Sunday to make the trip to Westminster Cathedral together. As we came out about 100 Islamists were chanting slogans such as "Pope Benedict go to Hell" "Pope Benedict you will pay, the Muja Hadeen are coming your way" "Pope Benedict watch your back" and other hateful things. I'll post more pictures of it when I get more free time. It was a pretty nasty demonstration. From 11 - 3pm they chanted absurd things, literally just outside the Cathedral. And from 11- 3pm (and indeed all day, every day) like every day of the week, faithful Catholics and non-Catholics (mainly tourists) wondered in and out of the magnificent Church, largely ignoring the furor of hatred this crowd of muslims was trying to stir up.

All this is very disturbing and sad. Can't these Muslim brothers and sisters voice their outrage in a more peaceful and rational manner? Do they need to insult and humiliate the Pope in such ways?

The Pope already said his apology, and earlier in a statement he said that his speech was taken out of context. How many of these Muslim brothers and sisters of ours actually read the Pope's statement in its entirety before reacting the way they did? How can they so easily jump to such a conclusion about the Pope that led them to express such anger and hatred towards him?

What does the Pope think about Islam? This is a speech he gave in a meeting with Muslims last year in Cologne:

It is in this spirit that I turn to you, dear and esteemed Muslim friends, to share my hopes with you and to let you know of my concerns at these particularly difficult times in our history.

I am certain that I echo your own thoughts when I bring up one of our concerns as we notice the spread of terrorism. I know that many of you have firmly rejected, also publicly, in particular any connection between your faith and terrorism and have condemned it. I am grateful to you for this, for it contributes to the climate of trust that we need.

Terrorist activity is continually recurring in various parts of the world, plunging people into grief and despair. Those who instigate and plan these attacks evidently wish to poison our relations and destroy trust, making use of all means, including religion, to oppose every attempt to build a peaceful and serene life together.

Thanks be to God, we agree on the fact that terrorism of any kind is a perverse and cruel choice which shows contempt for the sacred right to life and undermines the very foundations of all civil coexistence.

If together we can succeed in eliminating from hearts any trace of rancour, in resisting every form of intolerance and in opposing every manifestation of violence, we will turn back the wave of cruel fanaticism that endangers the lives of so many people and hinders progress towards world peace.

The task is difficult but not impossible. The believer - and all of us, as Christians and Muslims, are believers - knows that, despite his weakness, he can count on the spiritual power of prayer.

Dear friends, I am profoundly convinced that we must not yield to the negative pressures in our midst, but must affirm the values of mutual respect, solidarity and peace. The life of every human being is sacred, both for Christians and for Muslims. There is plenty of scope for us to act together in the service of fundamental moral values.

The dignity of the person and the defence of the rights which that dignity confers must represent the goal of every social endeavour and of every effort to bring it to fruition. This message is conveyed to us unmistakably by the quiet but clear voice of conscience. It is a message which must be heeded and communicated to others: should it ever cease to find an echo in peoples' hearts, the world would be exposed to the darkness of a new barbarism.

Only through recognition of the centrality of the person can a common basis for understanding be found, one which enables us to move beyond cultural conflicts and which neutralizes the disruptive power of ideologies.

During my Meeting last April with the delegates of Churches and Christian Communities and with representatives of the various religious traditions, I affirmed that "the Church wants to continue building bridges of friendship with the followers of all religions, in order to seek the true good of every person and of society as a whole" (L'Osservatore Romano, 25 April 2005, p. 4).

Past experience teaches us that, unfortunately, relations between Christians and Muslims have not always been marked by mutual respect and understanding. How many pages of history record battles and wars that have been waged, with both sides invoking the Name of God, as if fighting and killing, the enemy could be pleasing to him. The recollection of these sad events should fill us with shame, for we know only too well what atrocities have been committed in the name of religion.

The lessons of the past must help us to avoid repeating the same mistakes. We must seek paths of reconciliation and learn to live with respect for each other's identity. The defence of religious freedom, in this sense, is a permanent imperative, and respect for minorities is a clear sign of true civilization. In this regard, it is always right to recall what the Fathers of the Second Vatican Council said about relations with Muslims.

"The Church looks upon Muslims with respect. They worship the one God living and subsistent, merciful and almighty, creator of heaven and earth, who has spoken to humanity and to whose decrees, even the hidden ones, they seek to submit themselves whole-heartedly, just as Abraham, to whom the Islamic faith readily relates itself, submitted to God.... Although considerable dissensions and enmities between Christians and Muslims may have arisen in the course of the centuries, the Council urges all parties that, forgetting past things, they train themselves towards sincere mutual understanding and together maintain and promote social justice and moral values as well as peace and freedom for all people" (Declaration Nostra Aetate, n. 3).

For us, these words of the Second Vatican Council remain the Magna Carta of the dialogue with you, dear Muslim friends, and I am glad that you have spoken to us in the same spirit and have confirmed these intentions.

You, my esteemed friends, represent some Muslim communities from this Country where I was born, where I studied and where I lived for a good part of my life. That is why I wanted to meet you. You guide Muslim believers and train them in the Islamic faith.

Teaching is the vehicle through which ideas and convictions are transmitted. Words are highly influential in the education of the mind. You, therefore, have a great responsibility for the formation of the younger generation. I learn with gratitude of the spirit in which you assume responsibility.

Christians and Muslims, we must face together the many challenges of our time. There is no room for apathy and disengagement, and even less for partiality and sectarianism. We must not yield to fear or pessimism. Rather, we must cultivate optimism and hope.

Interreligious and intercultural dialogue between Christians and Muslims cannot be reduced to an optional extra. It is in fact a vital necessity, on which in large measure our future depends.

The media is partly guilty of this, I think. I forgot which newspaper carried this banner; it was an international daily. It read: "Pope Slams Islam" or words to that effect. Such headlines only provoke and foment anger. These media outlets should be responsible enough with the way they carry their news.

Finally, this is from a French Muslim leader:

The rector of the Mosque of Aix in Marseilles Mohand Alili thinks his fellow Muslims are making too much of the Regensburg citation.

"The Muslim can't expect that the Pope is going to glorify them. All he did was what a Pope would do," said Alili to France Info.

"Others have said similar things before....Moreover, he's not Muslim, never has been. He's the Pope. What do they want him to do? Why would he preach Islam over Christianity?"

"Benedict XVI," he said, "stands up for who he is. Now why can't Muslims say, '"All right, and this is who we are,' but there's no need to go into all the polemics."

"Besides, I don't see why they should be taking it out on the Pope when they should have it out among themselves, among those who have discredited Islam. No, I don't see why I should be angry at the Pope."

Check Amy Welborn's blog (and also Carl Olson's: Insight Scoop) regularly for running commentaries and updates on the controversy.

Nice pic

I don't know, but there's something beautiful and peaceful about this photo.



(Via Photography and Spiritual Exercises)

The price of disobedience

Just a thought....

You know why God "punished" Adam and Eve, after they have eaten of the forbidden fruit, by giving them children?

To the woman also he said: I will multiply thy sorrows, and thy conceptions: in sorrow shalt thou bring forth children, and thou shalt be under thy husband's power, and he shall have dominion over thee. (Genesis 3:16)

Well, they disobeyed God, so God in His infinite wisdom allowed them to bear forth children... so that they may feel how it is to love your children (as God loved Adam and Eve) and be disobeyed by them. They will experience how it is to be hurt by their children's disobedience. But most of all, they will learn how to practice true love, by practicing the virtues of patience, tolerance, and understanding as they care for their children and as they guide them from infancy to adolescence. Only then will they truly see how much God loved and continues to love them.

So we see that it is not really "punishment" for its own sake, but "punishment" done by God out of love for us.

Would you agree?

Been busy

We had two exams in our Maternal and Child Care Nursing this morning. The previous days we've been discussing about Cardiovascular and Hematologic diseases.

The clinical instructor who discussed the topics impressed us a lot, nay, put us all in awe. A very intelligent and dynamic nurse, had a lot of experience in pediatric nursing. Wish I could have the same passion.

I'm really struggling with MCN. It's not an easy subject.

Well, it's intrams week, which means no class for three days! Yehey! I really need a break.

Crazy about audiobooks!

This blog is getting me very excited lately:

BlogOutLoud

A lot of very exciting stuff about audiobooks and podcasts, or "audiolearning" in general. You can find a lot of free stuff in there for your aural pleasure. I've already subscribed to the website, and what's great about it is that you get to download one audiobook for free every month. The site already has loads of free audiobooks, so that's just an added bonus.

I'm still dropping by Librivox once in a while. I've finished Northanger Abbey two weeks ago but I didn't enjoy it very much. I'm now listening to Hans Christian Anderson's fairy tales. A lot of his stories are strange...

I've also been listening to Sherlock Holmes stories (the site seems to be experiencing some technical problems). Great stuff.

I have literally dozens of audiobooks in our PC right now which I have recently downloaded. I don't know how I'm going to find the time to listen to all of them. I have almost eaten up all the storage space in our hard drive, and my brother's complaining. So I've begun transferring most of them to CDs.

The perpetrator and the whistle-blower

The Talk of the Town section of the PDI yesterday carried the issue of the NLE leakage. An excerpt of the statement made by the "whistle-blower" is published.

What struck me in his story is this:

I said to him, “Sir, be careful, you might be blackmailed.” Cordero said, “No, I have a lawyer. Gapuz is pointing at me because a PCHS student gave him the materials. The evidence that the PRC holds is the photocopy of the handwritten materials from my student. Walang kwentang bata ’yan. Do you know who the materials are really for? For my child [son].”

I replied, “Oo nga po, sir. Salamat po at hindi niyo ipinagdamot sa amin,” I then asked him, “Sir, bakit kaya niya kailangan ibigay ’yun?” Cordero said, “Eh para ano pa, eh di sa pera.” “Balita ko nga masama ang loob sa akin ng member ng BON na nagbigay, eh. Pag nagkaipitan naman, hindi ko sasabihin na siya. Sasabihin ko lang na may nagbigay sa akin, hindi ko kilala tapos binigyan ko kunwari ng P20,000.”

"Salamat po at hindi niyo ipinagdamot sa amin." He did not condemn the act, after having discovered that there was a leakage, and that they benefited from it, after they took the exam. He even thanked him for it!

According to the statement even Gapuz welcomed the leaked material given to him by the second-courser mentioned in the story.

Cordero's values are truly twisted. He cheated for his son, and the way that he said it, it seemed to him a very normal thing. Moreover, he was "generous" enough (a value which Bautista thanked him for -- and for that reason Bautista's values are also twisted ) to share it with the reviewers. Tsk tsk tsk.

God's will

Currently in my inbox I have about 29 unread messages from different e-groups that I'm a member, plus 215 more, daily devotionals that I'm too lazy to read.

Anyway, I was deleting old emails to free some space when I found this very beautiful and funny article by Bo Sanchez which I never bothered to read until now. It's quite long, but it's really worth it!

My Long, Convoluted, Complicated Torturous Process of Knowing God's Will for My Life That Lasted For 18 Years And The 7 Keys I Discovered On Discerning God's Will

I am, without question, the Top World Authority and Expert in Discernment.

I'm also the Top World Authority and Expert on how to eat peanut butter in 181 ways - but that's another book.

Let me tell you why I consider myself an expert in getting heavenly guidance when you make the big decisions in life: Because I made the most mistakes.

Specifically, 18 years of wonderful mistakes.

It all began when I came to know God at age 12.

I enjoyed serving God at a young age - giving talks, leading retreats, conducting seminars, producing musicals, traveling all over the country. You know, regular stuff.

But I also did some really, really special stuff. Like for these same events, I also cleaned toilets, swept floors, arranged chairs and washed dishes. All-Around Janitor by day, Big-Time Speaker by night.

I fell in love with what I was doing.

So I told myself that I'd serve God for the rest of my life. Obviously, I thought of becoming a priest - or at least a celibate person.

I mean, how could you not think of it?

My Wild Journey to Singleness

Gosh, every big-name saint is celibate.

Every single one of them.

Married saints are awfully few and their popularity rating sucks. (They need a PR firm to pull their numbers up. I've recently volunteered for the job.)

You've got to admit. Heavyweight saints are priests, nuns, bishops, theologians, popes and founders of congregations.

So here was my thinking: If I'm serving God, I might as well go all the way.

My first attempt at celibacy was when I formed a small group of men to live together in a ramshackle house.

It was really more like a bodega - but we lived there for five straight happy years.

St. Francis of Assisi was our hero, and we wanted to live like him, talk like him, eat like him, look like him and smell like him. So for five years, we slept on old cardboards laid on cement floors, wore the most worn-out clothes, fasted regularly, prayed two hours in the morning and went off to do God's work during the day - until we arrived home in the evening for more prayer and sharing - tired, poor, smelly and happy.

All of us wanted to be celibate. But one by one, all the guys with me discerned that they were for married life. (Still, I look back at those five years as one of the most fantastic seasons of my life. We still see each other and work together.)

Why Are You on This Planet?

My second attempt at celibacy was joining the Servants of the Word, an international celibate brotherhood. I lived in their house for one year - and was overjoyed to be not the leader - but just a member this time.

Again, the daily schedule was similar. We also slept on floors, ate on tin plates, had a limited set of clothes, prayed long and fasted a lot. We also had lots and lots of fun. The Servants of the Word brotherhood was an incredibly rich blessing to my life.

But after one year, I knew in my heart that I wasn't meant to join them.

A very simple reason: If I joined the Servants of the Word, my first ministry would be the brotherhood. And theoretically, they could assign me to go anywhere in the world - and I needed to leave the organizations I founded.

But deep within me, I knew that God wanted me to serve the groups I founded - Light of Jesus, Shepherd's Voice, etc.

Here's Key Lesson #1 on Discerning God's Will: Identify Your Sacred Personal Mission.

To me, the organizations I birthed were part of my original sacred mission - and that mission has not yet been lifted from my heart.

Let me explain. I pioneered a lay community composed of thousands of people spread all over the country, plus a media ministry that was touching the lives of hundreds of thousands more... potentially millions. And I was their spiritual father. Does a father abandon his children?

No, he doesn't.

Tell me: What is your personal sacred mission?

Never Make Decisions at Night Time

So with a heavy heart, I left my wonderful friends at the Servants of the Word.
Now, I was on my own. Again.

After praying and thinking over it for a few more months, I decided to get married. I told myself that I had tried celibacy. And nothing worked. So this other road must be my path.

I zeroed in on one of the young women that I was attracted to in the prayer meeting. I dated her. I gave her flowers. I even composed a song for her.

But by the third date, she gave me the words of death all suitors dread to hear.

"Let's just remain friends." (But of course, guys would translate these words to mean, "You look like a yellow toad, so bug off, you creep.")

That was when I said, "Wow, perhaps I'm really called to celibacy!

I mean, gosh, how can a human female in her right mind turn down a great catch like me?"

Okay, that's not what I said.

I wrote that down to make you laugh.

This is what I actually told myself, "Gosh, she's right. I am a yellow toad."

And after some time later, I was somehow thinking of celibacy again.

Looking back, I realized this choice was caused by the deadly mixture of a genuine passion for God and the sadness of a broken heart. If romance doesn't want me, I don't want it either. So celibacy, here I come!

Of course, at that time, I didn't know all this. Which brings me to Key Lesson #2 on Discerning God's Will: Never make decisions when you're discouraged.

Make decisions only when you feel good about yourself.

Figuratively, don't make decisions during the night of confusion. Sleep over it, and make decisions when you wake up in the morning and feel better.

That's not an original from me. St. Ignatius of Loyola shared these same thoughts when he said, "Don't make decisions during times of desolation. Make decisions during times of consolation."

But again, I didn't know all this during that time...

The Craziest Thing I Thought about In My Entire Life

I continued to pursue celibacy for three more years.

During that time, I founded Anawim, a ministry for the poorest of the poor.

I actually lived in a bamboo hut (without electricity and any kind of plumbing) in the boondocks for three years together with a bunch of like-minded friends. We took in orphans, abandoned elderly, drug addicts and mentally handicapped people. It was a wild adventure.

You see, I had a plan.

With my stint with Servants of the Word, I realized that if I was to live a celibate life, it had to be on my terms - that is, become a priest but still be able to serve my organizations.

So my only option was to start my own congregation of priests. (Don't laugh. I was dead serious.)

And I was imagining it to be right there in Anawim, living with the poor, and serving the different Lay Communities I founded all over the Philippines.

So I talked to Bishop Teodoro Bacani and asked him, "Bishop, can I form my own congregation of priests?" The good bishop probably received crazy proposals like this about 12 times a day.

He simply said, "Let's talk about it some more."

Check What God Has Given You

But after two years of trying and thinking and praying, I shelved the entire idea.

One big realization: I didn't have the gifts of "forming" men one-on-one, which is essential to forming a congregation.

I thrived (became most happy and alive) when I preached in front of thousands or when I wrote my books to millions of readers - not when I was in front of one person- wrestling with emotional issues, giving spiritual direction, counseling personal problems. Ugh. That kind of work was death to me. I simply wasn't made for it.

Here's Key Lesson #3 on Discerning God's Will: Identify Your Raw Materials.

When God designed you, He gave you the raw materials you need to do His will. So you need to study these raw materials well - and you'll find out what He wants you to do. God's not a sadistic taskmaster that will force you to do things you don't want to do. In fact, He gave you your specific gifts, temperament and personality precisely because He wants you to use them to bless the world.

Saying all that, I must warn you that it takes time to discover your happiness. What may give you so much happiness later may, in the short-term, give you misery. So discern well.

Going to a Retreat

So when the option of forming my own congregation went up in smoke, I was already 30 years old.

I knew I had to make a choice.

So I went up a mountain with nothing else but a Bible and a wise Jesuit priest. For seven days, I holed myself on that mountain. I was determined that when I went down, I would already have a decision.

I recall that my first three days on that mountain was pure torture. I wrestled with God and found no answer. He wasn't telling me what I should do with my life.

But on the fourth day, my spiritual director said that his fellow Jesuit Fr. Manoling Francisco, the composer of Hindi Kita Malilumutan and many other beautiful songs, had a concert at the parish church nearby. Would I want to listen?

I told him that Manoling was my friend. Yes, I'd love to go.

So I went there and listened to his lovely music.

But in between his songs, Fr. Francisco said these powerful words that blew me away, "We think that God's will is found out there, somewhere in the stars. That's not true. God's will is found within. Ultimately, God's will is your deepest desire."
What did he say?

Searching Within

Wham! It was like a missile that had my name on it.

My gosh, what are my deepest desires?

What do I really want?

No, not my shallow desires.

But the desire from the deepest core of who I am.

What do I really, really want?

Everything made sense to me. Of course, God's will is my deepest desire!
Sometimes, it takes years to discover this. But through the sharp scalpel of discernment, you peel away your superficial desires, layer after layer, until you touch base with the deepest desire of your heart.

And here is Key Lesson #4 on Discernment: God's Will is your deepest desire.

Because when He created you, He planted it there - deep within your soul.

No Luck Came

Armed with this knowledge, I went back to my retreat with vengeance.

For the past four days, I was asking God, "What do you want me to do?" Now, I had three more days to ask myself, "What do I want to do?" I was confident I could answer the question in a few minutes.

I went to the chapel.

The few minutes turned to an hour.

The hour turned to two hours.

After three hours, I was sweating.

After four hours, I was in pain.

I was still stumped as ever.

Why? I realized I wanted both!

I wanted marriage. The intimacy of marriage. The joy of children. The hugs. The quiet evenings and noisy mornings.

But I also wanted the freedom of celibacy. The missionary that goes off to wherever. Alone. In prayer. At work. And with other buddies as passionate for God as I was.

So for the next couple of days, I was as torn as ever.

False Alarm

By the sixth day of the retreat, my brain was fried. Micro waved, grilled, poached, baked and re-fried all over again.

And then all of a sudden, I had a brilliant idea.

I solved my dilemma!

I rushed to my spiritual director, knocked on his door, and said, "Father! Father! I've got it!"

He pulled a chair and we sat facing each other.

"Okay, what is it?"

My words came bubbling out of my mouth, "I know now what to do! I'll remain celibate for 25 more years - serve to my heart's content - and get married when I hit 55!"

He looked at me, startled. And then laughed. "Bo, anything is possible. But don't you think you'll be unfair to your kids? You'll be playing basketball with your 10-year-old when you're 65? Bo, you're not making a choice."

Rats. He was right.

I had one more day to pray.

A Truth that Rocked My World

I remember that day very well.

I went to God and said, "Lord, this is my last day. This is your last chance. I like both. Is it celibacy or marriage? You've got to help me..."

And that day, it happened.

I cannot fully describe to you what took place that fateful morning. Except to say that it was one of the most mystical experiences of my life. But mind you, without the Hollywood pyrotechnics. (If Steven Spielberg interpreted that scene into film, he'd have laser lights shooting wildly from different directions and I'd be levitating with translucent rainbows crisscrossing my body. Nope, it didn't happen that way.)

On that day, I "met" truth. A truth that was like a golden key that unlocked heavy chains that wrapped around my body for so many years - and they all fell, and I heard them crashing on the chapel floor. I was simply asking God to resolve whether I should marry or be celibate. But He gave me a truth that would rock my entire world.

Here's what happened.

I was alone in that chapel, and it was as though everything around me - the entire universe - was speaking to my heart.

And I heard two words.

I Saw God's Perfect Will In a Totally Different Way

The two simple words were: You choose.

I was stunned.

I answered, "But God, I need to know what is Your perfect will!"

And that was when I realized the craziest, most insane thing: At least in my own life, single life and married life are both in God's perfect will.1

For all those years, I had a limited view of this thing called God's will.

It's not so narrow after all! It could be very, very wide.

And it made all sense to me - God's will is as big as God Himself!

Of course, I could choose any of those two options - and I'd still be in His perfect will.

Here's Key Lesson #5: God's will is bigger than we think it is.

Fruit Salad, Anyone?

We think God's will is narrow - and woe to you if you fall to the left or to the right! Today, I see many Christians who are like struggling tightrope artists. It's a pathetic sight. We get this idea because Jesus said the way to the Kingdom is narrow. But the context is all wrong. He was talking about moral issues - good and evil. Not about decisions that are both morally excellent.

Tell me: In the Garden of Eden, how many fruits could Adam and Eve not eat? Answer: One. And how many could they actually eat - and eat as much? Answer: Everything else.

I've discovered that this is the perfect picture of the human life God has given to us: All the fruits are for my picking. Only one fruit isn't in God's will - and that fruit is called Evil.

This Universe Is a Wild Place of Blessings!

That's why I now believe everything is sacred.
Everything!

The universe is such a beautiful, wonderful, phenomenal place filled and overflowing with His blessings.

Marriage and celibacy included.

But that day, I still heard a huge part of my heart complain, Noooooooooooo! This cannot be! My old programming was kicking in. My mental software didn't want to be upgraded.

But slowly, the truth took root in my heart.

It took another ten years from that day for this truth to break down all my theological arguments and emotional biases. (I probably still maintain a few guerilla stragglers fighting in my brain.) That's why it took me this long to write this book. I couldn't make myself teach these things to others.

Perfect Love Casts Out What?

But that morning in the chapel, I noticed something remarkable.

All of a sudden, fear was gone from the equation.

I could now discern without fear - which I realize is very, very important.
First, the fear of displeasing God had disappeared. (If I chose marriage, He'd be happy. If I chose celibacy, He'd be happy too!)

Second, the fear of being cursed for choosing the wrong thing also vanished from my heart. (Through the years, I've met lots and lots of people who feel God has cursed them because they've chosen wrongly. This cruel lie has robbed them of years of happiness.)

Third, the fear of choosing something wrong - and settling for God's second best - being trapped forever in a second-class life. This fear was also gone!

I could now choose without these useless fears.

Which is Key Lesson #6 of Discerning God's Will: Never choose in the presence of useless fears. First banish fear - and then choose out of love.

The Historic Phone Call that Changed My Life

If I had nothing to fear, what would I choose?

I closed my eyes.

And found the answer.

I lay flat on the floor of the chapel - and it was as though all my tension and stress drained from my body. I began to laugh.

It was a beautiful feeling to finally know what to do with my life.

I stood up, went to my room, quickly packed my bags, walked to my spiritual director's room and bid farewell. I told him all my Lessons of Discernment I mentioned above. He smiled. "Great discoveries. So you have made a decision."

"Yes, I have. Thank you very much, Father."

Going down from the retreat house, I whipped out my cell phone.

I dialed a number.

"Hello, Marowe?"

The Chair in My Office

Let me tell you the background of that story.

Five years before that phone call, I met a beautiful young woman at my office - applying for work. We hired her and she ended up becoming my secretary.

But as I told you, I was at that time still seriously considering becoming a priest.

So I brushed romantic thoughts aside and decided to look at her the way I looked at a piece of furniture. So to me, she was one of the Monobloc chairs in the office.

This strategy worked.

I'd be rarely in the office anyway, preaching and travelling around the world. We'd have very brief phone calls, perhaps once a week, and it was purely business. Do this. Do that. Go here. Go there. For those five years, not once did I show any hint that I was attracted to her. Not once did I show any special treatment towards her.

But I must be honest. In the rare times that I was in the office, I'd sometimes find myself secretly gazing at this Monobloc chair for no apparent reason. I was attracted by her simplicity, her steady relationship with God, her pretty smile and her no-none-sense attitude towards work. But again, I pushed this at the backburner of my brain.

I knew I was attracted to her - and enjoyed knowing that I was human.

But I knew it wasn't something to focus my attention on.

Which brings me to the final Key Lesson #7: Enjoy the Journey Of Discerning God's Will. All the zigs and zags. All the bumps and jumps. All the twists and turns.

It's all part of this package called Life.

The Decision

Five years later, going down that mountaintop, I phoned the monobloc chair.

It was the very first time I called her on her cell phone.

"Yes?" her voice sounded perplexed, wondering if there was an emergency.
"Oh nothing, I just want to say hi!"

Obviously, she was as surprised as a cat in front of a truck's headlights. She couldn't speak for a while. Her boss had called her to say hi. His brain wasn't functioning normally, she must have thought. Must be the altitude in the mountain.

"Uh... hi too. Where are you?" she finally thought of something to say.

"I'm here in Mindanao and I've just finished my retreat. I'm going home now."

"Oh, uh... okay. Was it a good retreat?"

"Yes. Very, very good. I'll tell you all about it."

"Uh... okay."
"I'll see you soon, Marowe. Bye!"

"Uh... yeah. Okay, Bo. Bye."

That was to her one of the weirdest phone calls she had ever received.
But to me, it remains the sweetest.

Going down the mountain, I felt good.

I felt very, very good.

For the remainder of this book, I will now tell you how to find your One True Love.

I remain your friend,

Bo Sanchez
bosanchez@kerygmafamily.com

1Note: I'm sure there are some people who - because of their personality, character, history, strengths and weaknesses - are fit for either single life or married life. But my point here is that there are people who can choose any - and will find that God is pleased in whatever they do.

21 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out all fear.

I've been tagged!

Thanks to Kendi. It's my pleasure for I love books! :)

One book that changed your life.

I think probably The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck. It taught me to look at life more realistically and to discipline my vices.

One book that I read more than once.

Pilipino, Isa Kang Alipin! by (I forgot his first name) Garcia

One book you would want on a desert island.

The Bible. :)

One book that made you laugh.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, many times.

One book that made you cry.

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck siguro...

One book that you wish had been written.

Wala ko'y mahuna-hunaan...

One book that you wish had never been written.

Wala pud ko'y mahuna-hunaan...

One book you are currently reading.

Daghan man... The Enduring Questions by Fr. Michael Moga, The Examined Life by Dennis Helming, and The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis. I'm about to begin Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen.

One book you have been meaning to read.

Daghan kaayo ko'g daghan basahun... kung pwede palang dunganun nako basa tanan... These are mostly audiobooks... Mere Christianity and all the Narnia series by C. S. Lewis, The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and other books by Douglas Adams, Saint Augustine's Confessions, The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown and then The Da Vinci Hoax by Carl Olson and Sandra Meisel...

I don't know who to tag... anyone who reads this is welcome!

Next book, please

I am done with the book. I have to say again that I really loved it!

Now, what's next? Northanger Abbey? :)

A review of the book from Amazon:

Though Northanger Abbey is one of Jane Austen's earliest novels, it was not published until after her death--well after she'd established her reputation with works such as Pride and Prejudice, Emma, and Sense and Sensibility. Of all her novels, this one is the most explicitly literary in that it is primarily concerned with books and with readers. In it, Austen skewers the novelistic excesses of her day made popular in such 18th-century Gothic potboilers as Ann Radcliffe's The Mysteries of Udolpho. Decrepit castles, locked rooms, mysterious chests, cryptic notes, and tyrannical fathers all figure into Northanger Abbey, but with a decidedly satirical twist. Consider Austen's introduction of her heroine: we are told on the very first page that "no one who had ever seen Catherine Morland in her infancy, would have supposed her born to be an heroine." The author goes on to explain that Miss Morland's father is a clergyman with "a considerable independence, besides two good livings--and he was not in the least addicted to locking up his daughters." Furthermore, her mother does not die giving birth to her, and Catherine herself, far from engaging in "the more heroic enjoyments of infancy, nursing a dormouse, feeding a canary-bird, or watering a rose-bush" vastly prefers playing cricket with her brothers to any girlish pastimes.

Catherine grows up to be a passably pretty girl and is invited to spend a few weeks in Bath with a family friend. While there she meets Henry Tilney and his sister Eleanor, who invite her to visit their family estate, Northanger Abbey. Once there, Austen amuses herself and us as Catherine, a great reader of Gothic romances, allows her imagination to run wild, finding dreadful portents in the most wonderfully prosaic events. But Austen is after something more than mere parody; she uses her rapier wit to mock not only the essential silliness of "horrid" novels, but to expose the even more horrid workings of polite society, for nothing Catherine imagines could possibly rival the hypocrisy she experiences at the hands of her supposed friends. In many respects Northanger Abbey is the most lighthearted of Jane Austen's novels, yet at its core is a serious, unsentimental commentary on love and marriage, 19th-century British style. --Alix Wilber

You can actually view movie clips from both the 2005 version of P@P and the 1995 one by the BBC over at Youtube.com. Some people say the BBC version is better and more faithful to the novel than the big screen version.

The disadvantage of ebooks

"Darcy had walked away to another part of the room. She followed him with her eyes, envied everyone to whom he spoke, had scarcely patience enough to help anybody to coffee; and then was enraged against herself for being so silly!"

Lol... if only I'm reading from a book and have a marker in hand, I would be busy highlighting such lines as above...

"Black paradise"

That is how a village leader describes the present state of Guimaras island. I saw a video footage of the place in ANC, and it does look like a "black paradise". It is so disheartening to see such a beautiful place ruined by one of the environment's worse (if not the worst) enemies.

Greenpeace has issued a statement.

The high cost of oil! I hope Petron and the owner of the tanker will take full account of the disaster. But the government's role is more important here. They should enact laws that would prevent oil tankers from plying routes that are near marine reserves, or better yet, allow only those tankers which are spill-proof to travel in our seas.

But ultimately it's really high time for us to shift to alternative sources of energy, because we can't ignore the issue of global warming.

Terrorist

Today's PDI Editorial is enraging. To quote this guy Palparan:

"My order to my soldiers is that if they are certain that there are armed rebels in a house or yard, shoot them. It will just be too bad if civilians are killed in the process. We are sorry if you are killed in the crossfire."

Can the Arroyo administration let him get away with that kind of statement!?

Oh wait, I forgot, he's Gloria's "hero" right? No wonder there's no stopping the killings. I've heard in the news this afternoon that another militant was gunned down in Luzon today. Yesterday another member of a cause-oriented group was shot in his own house also in Luzon. The administration is basically giving these people license to continue executing people for their mere political-orientation. And now the infamous Palparan is extending his terror tactics (for let's face it, they are terror tactics) to hapless civilians. Shouldn't the cold-blooded general then be rightly called a "terrorist"? The people have more to fear from this insane man.

Great novel

I'm now about to begin chapter 44 of Pride and Prejudice. I really love how Jane Austen writes. She is so fluent and her words are so pleasurable to read. I really love the story so far. The characters are very interesting; very intelligent and complex. I admire how "character" and "civility" is highly valued and praised in Austen's time.

I'm looking forward to seeing the movie adaptation of the novel. Now I'm sorry I missed it.

Pride and Prejudice

I am now listening to (at the same time reading) Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. The dialogues between the characters are pleasurable to listen to because they are full of wit. But half the time I can't understand what they're saying hehehe... But I love the story so far...

A close encounter

I just had a very unpleasant encounter with a stranger this afternoon.

My brother and I, together with my mother, dropped by Central Market in Talisay to buy some fish. My brother and I parked alongside a row of parked cars and we waited there. Some minutes later a taxi cab pulled over behind us. Some minutes later still, a jeepey-type vehicle pulled over across us, so that our vehicles are now doubly parking. Then a few more minutes later a black car appeared behind us. He couldn't pass through, so he signalled using his sirens (he had sirens). I assumed he meant to signal the jeepey, since I arrived in the place first. The jeepey moved slowly to allow the black car through. When the black car was beside us, it stopped. Its window was rolled down. The driver was a middle-aged man, and beside him was an elderly person. The driver then said to me, with his voice slightly raised, and in perfect English...

"Can''t you park your car properly!? You're blocking traffic!" Or words to that effect.

I was taken aback. My blood pressure shot up, and I was too fuming mad that I was at a loss for words. The man stared at me for a few moments then slowly drove off to a parking space several meters ahead. But as he did, I managed to shout back, "You're wrong!"

My mother then came, not knowing what just happened, so we drove off. Then I saw the guy again. He was out of his car, with his companion. They stood several meters before us, and as I turned the car towards the highway I rolled down my window so he could get a better view of me shrugging my shoulders and raising my hand in exasperation of not knowing how to respond to his rudeness. In fact, I think the man is truly arrogant, and I believe he is truly wrong to accuse me of not parking properly. I was not blocking the traffic, it was the jeepey, who parked across us despite seeing that he was double parking.

I truly felt like giving him the finger, but somehow reason prevailed over emotion...

Mars series

I'm done with A Princess of Mars, and I really liked the story. The ending gave hint to a sequel so I googled Burroughs' name and found out that it actually is a series of books...

A PRINCESS OF MARS, 1917
THE GODS OF MARS, 1918
THE WARLORD OF MARS, 1919
THUVIA, MAID OF MARS, 1920
THE CHESSMEN OF MARS, 1922
THE MASTER MIND OF MARS, 1928
A FIGHTING MAN OF MARS, 1931
SWORDS OF MARS, 1936
SYNTHETIC MEN OF MARS, 1940
LLANA OF GATHOL, 1948
JOHN CARTER OF MARS, 1964

Wow, that's a lot. I'm happy to learn that you can actually read all the sequels online. Visit this site. It also has etexts of Burroughs' other works, including the Tarzan series.

Now I'm trying to decide what book to listen to next.

Mars and audiobooks

A friend of mine from SFC texted me several weeks ago with this message:

"Planet Mars will be brightest in the night sky starting August. It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. This will culminate on August 27 when Mars comes to within 34.65M miles of earth. Be sure to watch the sky on August 27, 12:30 AM. It will look like the earth has two moons. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Share this with your loved ones and friends as no one alive today will ever see it again..."



I checked the net if this is true and I found these articles in this website:

Will Mars be close in August 2006?

Can Mars appear as large as the moon?

Apparently, it's a hoax, spread through email since 2003, when Mars was close to the Earth, but not as close as to appear the size of the moon. It only looked like a star.

On average, Mars is approximately 139.5 million miles away from Earth.

In contrast, the moon is a scant 238,700 miles away, on average.

For Mars to appear as close as the moon is to Earth it would have to at least be about 500,000 miles (since the diameter of Mars is about twice that of the moon's) close...

So much for my initial excitement...

Anyway, incidentally, I'm listening (yes, listening) to this novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs called A Princess of Mars. This after having "discovered" this awesome website that offers audiobooks of novels, shortstories and poems for free! -- Librivox -- much to my excitement and delight.

So now, I'm in love with the spoken word. It has renewed my interest and perhaps passion in literature and reading. It has sort of opened for me a vast, new, and exciting world... the world of audiobooks... Following through the links from the site I was led to other public domain sites offering a wealth of other works in audio for free. For example, I found this great blog in which the author on a regular basis does a reading (podcast) on various Catholic literature, plus more! --

Maria Lectrix: Six days a week of public domain audiobooks — mystery, history, adventure, devotion — for people with Catholic tastes.

These sites are truly Heaven sent!

United 93

Probably the most powerful, most moving movie I have ever seen in my life (with the exception of The Passion of Christ)...



Watch it!!! It's now showing in the theaters.

The most moving scene in the movie for me was when the passengers of the flight began calling their families and friends on the phone telling them, "I love you, I love you..."

Indeed, that's all that matters in this life. That's all that matters in the end... Love.

The film's official website.

Three babies

Our clinical duty in a birthing home in Labangon ended this morning. We thought we were going to finish the week with only a single delivery! Fortunately, two patients arrived last night in labor. The first delivered her baby on the same night, while the other had a prolonged labor (she gave birth to her baby this morning). Both newborns are girls. So that's a total of only 3 for the whole week! According to Nang Lolly, the owner of the birthing home, who is also a midwife, it's busier there on most weeks. Last week they had 7 deliveries.

So we spent most of our free time studying... and eating. If we stayed there a week longer, manambok siguro mi, kay wala mi lain buhat kundi manglinkud og mangaon... Also, idle chit chat, that came down to such levels as...

Ate Janice: "Naa ra ba kunoy ungo dire maglakaw2x magabii. Ghost nga mag-scrub suit, bonnet og mask..."

Me: "Ghost nga conscious sa sterile technique."

Then we'd burst out laughing.

The week after next, we'll report to the district hospital in Danao. Hopefully, things will be busier there.

PDI Op Ed on the NLE scandal

Manila Standard Today's headline reads: Nurses can’t take oath. Some 17,000 board passers can't take their oaths because of the said leakage. Luoy kaayo sila. I'm sure majority sa ila walay parte sa cheating. That's the unfortunate part of this whole issue; it would be very difficult for the NBI to track down who really benefitted from the leakage, so the PRC's likely action would be to nullify the test results of all those 17,000. Tsk tsk tsk.

Today's Philippine Daily Inquirer editorial also talked about the NLE scandal:

Honor

THE leakage in the nursing board examination held last June 11 and 12 again brought to the fore what has gone wrong with many of our institutions: Core values, like honor and honesty, are dealt with like ordinary clothes, to be worn or discarded at one’s convenience. As Inquirer columnist Raul Pangalanan put it in his July 21 column, “It is nothing new for us to hear about another scandal, another leakage, in a government licensing examination.”

One can’t help being reminded of the string of other scandals tearing our society apart. And to be sure, there is outrage and serious concern. But the voices that shout in exasperation and protest are, more often than not, dismissed by an apathetic majority, not unlike the voice of the minority in Congress being drowned out not by reason but by the tyranny of numbers.

The reaction of the Professional Regulation Commission (PRC) to the reports about the leakage in the nursing board exam has been, to say the least, half-hearted, swinging from denial to disinterest. “After an initial investigation by the Board of Nursing, the board concluded there was no apparent leakage,” the government agency tasked to protect and uphold the integrity of the professions in the Philippines declared a week after the board exam. The examination system is “nearly foolproof” -- it has been “so streamlined that leakages are now things of the past,” the PRC asserted. Then it proceeded to release the results and to schedule the oath-taking of the “successful” examinees.

The haste with which the PRC made these twin moves did not escape criticism. And it only raised suspicion that the PRC was moving to outmaneuver its critics, by making their protests academic.

Thanks in large part to the persistence of a few concerned nurses, educators and examinees, the PRC did conduct an investigation into the leakage. And last July 20, it filed administrative charges against the two members of the Board of Nursing to whom the leakage of some question was reportedly traced. In the meantime, the PRC asked them to voluntarily go on leave. It could not place them under preventive suspension because both are presidential appointees, the PRC explained. And there has been no word from Malacañang until now.

Simply put, government action has so far failed to measure up to the urgency and significance of this case.

The quality of nursing education has long been on the decline, authorities admit. One clear proof is the passing rate in nursing board exam, which has fallen from 80 percent to 42 percent. Indeed, for many years now, the passing rate has not gone above 50 percent, according to Marilyn E. Lorenzo, director of the Institute of Health Policy and Development Studies. The result is that we are fast losing our reputation as a producer of “world-class nurses.” Chair Carlito Puno of the Commission on Higher Education has said, “I am the first to admit that the quality of tertiary education has gone down in general, including nursing.”

The decline in the quality of nursing education has been blamed on the rapid increase in the number of nursing schools (not to mention the “excessive political meddling” in the accreditation of such schools), lack of hospitals to provide students clinical experience, unqualified deans, lack of experienced teachers -- even grades for sale.

Such weak school preparation, coupled with a strong determination to pass and find employment, makes cheating very tempting. The leakage of the examination questions is, therefore, in a sense a “manifestation of a deteriorating and highly commercialized nursing education,” as one nursing school official put it. (Italics mine)

The leakage, of course, affects not only the examinees and practice of nursing in this country. The Philippine Overseas Employment Administration has warned that this puts in question the credibility of the government’s entire system of professional testing and licensing, and thus tarnish the image of all Filipino professionals, many of whom are practicing abroad.

The nursing exam leakage may appear less grievous than the charges of election fraud against President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and the P728-million fertilizer scam, but there is more at stake there than the government cares to acknowledge. Whether the leakage happened by design or by mere negligence, what is clear is that some people no longer deserve to sit in the Board of Nursing. This a matter of honor -- and not just for them, but for the entire nation.

The real casualty of this scandal is not only the 17,000 NLE takers whose eligibility to practice nursing is currently being questioned, but, to a larger extent, the reputation of all professional nurses in the country and overseas.

And I really agree, what's wrong with most of our institutions is that there is not anymore the core values of honor and honesty. In our school for example, and in most schools I bet this is also true, cheating has become a commonplace thing. Students cheat everytime the opportunity presents itself. Makatawa na lang ko usahay, kay it reminds me of that old song, "Honesty... is such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue..." I'm not excusing myself because I, too, have been a little less than honest a few times (or more!). But, I've always tried to avoid it na... honest! Pero seriously, it seems honest students today are hard to find, like endangered species. That's why it doesn't seem to shock us very much that the leakage happened, because everyday in school that's the reality, people cheat (especially those motivated by the drive to finish nursing in haste, so that they can start working abroad; these folks will do all that is necessary to pass nursing, nevermind "ethics" and all those silly inconviniences). Some teachers can even be bought! Our moral sensibilities are not really offended because... there's really nothing in us to offend.

And doesn't this whole issue closely mirror the situation with our country's political life? Look at Gloria, the whole issue of her being involved in the massive cheating in the previous elections hasn't yet been settled (she's not willing to clear her name through an impeachment proceeding; one wonders why, since someone falsely accused of a crime would normally readily seek every opportunity to prove her innocence). And what about the fertilizer scam? It seems she continues to be mum about it. And what about the fact about the rising number of killings of members of the Left and the Media happening under her administration which she has largely if not totally ignored? We go on about our daily lives as if everything's fine. All these dishonesty, this total lack of honor in our institutions, doesn't all these happen because we, the people, ourselves don't have these core values inside us, or don't hold them in high regard?

This will blow your mind away

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Psalm 27: 4-5

One thing I ask of the Lord;
this I seek:
To dwell in the Lord's house
all the days of my life,
To gaze on the Lord's beauty,
to visit his temple.
For God will hide me in his shelter
in time of trouble,
Will conceal me in the cover of his tent;
and set me high upon a rock.

First labor and delivery

We were able to witness and handle our first labor and delivery yesterday. The experience was truly wonderful. The mother began her labor at around noon, and by three her baby was out. It was a boy, a healthy baby boy. He came out head first, and he even opened his eyes a couple times the moment his head came out. He looked so cute. We placed him in his mother's pelvic area. I did the suctioning (removing the excess fluids from the mouth and nose with the use of a bulb syringe) and the cutting of the umbilical cord (it would've been nicer if the father did it, but he was not with us inside the room at that time). He was coughing and crying sharply, and it was a good sign. The poor little fellow was just adjusting to his new environment. Then we placed him in this small tub and cleaned him up.

Welcome to the world, baby Nash.

On the Middle East conflict

Letter from Noam Chomsky and others on the escalating conflict in the Middle East:

The latest chapter of the conflict between Israel and Palestine began when Israeli forces abducted two civilians, a doctor and his brother, from Gaza. An incident scarcely reported anywhere, except in the Turkish press. The following day the Palestinians took an Israeli soldier prisoner - and proposed a negotiated exchange against prisoners taken by the Israelis - there are approximately 10,000 in Israeli jails.


That this "kidnapping" was considered an outrage, whereas the illegal military occupation of the West Bank and the systematic appropriation of its natural resources - most particularly that of water - by the Israeli Defence (!) Forces is considered a regrettable but realistic fact of life, is typical of the double standards repeatedly employed by the West in face of what has befallen the Palestinians, on the land alloted to them by international agreements, during the last seventy years.


Today outrage follows outrage; makeshift missiles cross sophisticated ones. The latter usually find their target situated where the disinherited and crowded poor live, waiting for what was once called Justice. Both categories of missile rip bodies apart horribly - who but field commanders can forget this for a moment?


Each provocation and counter-provocation is contested and preached over. But the subsequent arguments, accusations and vows, all serve as a distraction in order to divert world attention from a long-term military, economic and geographic practice whose political aim is nothing less than the liquidation of the Palestinian nation.


This has to be said loud and clear for the practice, only half declared and often covert, is advancing fast these days, and, in our opinion, it must be unceasingly and eternally recognised for what it is and resisted.


Tariq Ali
John Berger
Noam Chomsky
Eduardo Galeano
Naomi Klein
Harold Pinter
Arundhati Roy
Jose Saramago
Giuliana Sgrena
Howard Zinn

On the Nursing Board scandal

Raul Pangalangan on the NLE scandal:

"That is why the scandal in the nursing board exams riles us so. Whoever leaked out those handwritten notes shortchanged all those honest students who took the exam on their own. Yet, unless the actual culprits and individual cheaters are found, the only proper course of action is to set aside the results of the tainted examination altogether. Its integrity has been breached, its results are not reliable. To compel the honest to retake an exam they have already passed -- that makes them the innocent victims of other peoples' greed and cunning. That is sad, but that is a legitimate price to exact. To allow the cheaters to be board-certified and to profit from their crime -- that leaves the public unprotected from the incompetent and rewards the dishonest with honors undeserved."

Making it (and excelling) in nursing

Nigawas na, I think it was yesterday, ang results sa Nursing Licensure Examination last June. Congratulations to all the new RNs!!!

Sadly, no one from our school made it to the top 10 (in the previous NLE, 2 of our graduates managed to land in the 8th and 9th place). Surprisingly, 4 of those in the top 10 came from Southwestern University! Dili man nga wala tay bilib sa ato mga friends in SWU, but it's quite a surprise since it's been a while, I think, that they garnered top spots in the board exams. Congratulations to you all! :) As expected, some of the topnotchers came from Cebu Doctors' University, Velez College, and Cebu Normal University. I didn't see anyone from Ateneo de Davao, or Silliman... I think the Silliman graduates didn't take the board last June...

A friend asked me this afternoon if naga-aim ba pud ko nga maka-top inig board namo puhon... hahaha... as they say, char! Layo ra sa tinuod, pero kinsa ba dili ganahan ana di ba? Pero realistically, lisud naman gali ang makapasa, ang maka-top pa kaha? This guy we know who took the NLE, he graduated Cum Laude, but he didn't make it to the top. There are probably many factors to consider why some people make it to the top and why some don't. Of course, innate intelligence is one, then of course, hard work during those years you are studying, and then there's the time you spend preparing for the NLE. Some take it a couple of months after graduation. Some wait for many months and review intensively.

Well, I don't have innate intelligence, although I could work really, really, really hard. Then, I can review for 8 or 9 months... hehehe.

The girl who topped the board last year is now our clinical instructor, and a classmate of mine asked her about her "secret formula"... hehehe. She merely said that she has always been a "naning" since she was a student. She would always read, read, and read. It is said that she has read two volumes of a Medical-Surgical book (cover to cover, I guess). I don't know if that's a significant feat. She would opt to stay at home to study than to go out with friends to make suroy-suroy.

I think that's one significant characteristic of someone who has successfully become a knowledgeable and skilled nurse (of course, all nurses are knowledgeable and skilled, but others are exceptionally good in their profession) -- he or she always reads and reads. Reading man gud, I think, trains the mind to think critically. And, I think, in nursing, "all that is needed" (not to make it sound easy, of course!) is for you to master those concepts and principles about health and wellness, illness and disease. "All that is needed" is for us to be more familiar with those concepts, those "frameworks" that make up the multifacted discipline that is nursing, and we can more easily understand, appreciate, and remember the great body of knowledge that make up the science and art of nursing.

It remains to be seen if my theory is correct hehe.

Reporting in class

My main problem when it comes to reporting (orally) in front of our class is that I always have a "stage fright". You might think that I'm too old for stage frights, that with my age I should have developed the calmness that comes with maturity. But I have never outgrown that tendency. Well, I suppose most people never *do* outgrow their fear of the crowd no matter how far they advance in age.

But I noticed that the more you have mastered your material, the more confident you become in delivering it...

Another problem that I have is that I have difficulty delivering my material in simple terms. That's the *key* idea, I think, reporters should remember. It's about keeping it simple, explaining the material in the simplest, most concise and understandable terms possible, so that your classmates can easily absorb the lesson. I seldom think in simple terms, though, so that it is reflected in the way I report - it ends up a bit confusing, and I could see it clearly in me classmates' eyes. Sometimes I wonder if what I'm doing is clarifying the lesson or simply showing off my verbal skills.

I have many among my classmates whose reporting styles I admire. They do it in the most personal and down to earth manner, not the detached, nerdy kind of way (wherein the reporter's style is so impersonal and "cerebral" that he/she appears like a talking textbook). I think I should emulate these people. Magbinisaya ta kung mao na ang paagi nga mas masabtan nato ang lesson...

Nurse bloggers

I've noticed nga ubay-ubay na jud ang mga nursing students or nurses karon nga naga-blog. Sa ako lang nailhan daghan na... there must be countless others out there - nursing students or nurses already practicing their profession - blogging, writing about their experience... I should place a separate category of links for these bloggers in this blog one of these days...

I remember a week or so ago I searched Google for nurse bloggers and I found this very interesting blog. It's by a nursing student from UK. Too bad the blog is not being updated anymore, but he (or she) posted some links of other nurse bloggers. I haven't got the time to check them out, though.

I think more nurses and nursing students should write about their experience/s. There is much to be learned from our experiences in the hospitals and in our classrooms, and there's much that we are not sharing with others. The process of becoming a nurse is quite an interesting journey, filled with hardships, struggles, anxieties, dread, but also, of course, rewards, joy, and personal fulfillment. A lot of things happen to us and inside us as nursing students during those four years, and we don't usually tell others about it. We are silent, or confide only in our classmates or close friends. We undergo change, or better yet, a "metamorphosis", in the same manner caterpillars metamorphose into beautiful butterflies. That is something worthy to be told. From clueless freshmen we slowly become, in the next years, responsible, skilled, knowledgeable, and smart professionals. As bloggers we should write about the significant things that happen to us and within us as we go along this great journey... :)

Going to Negros

The next couple of days promises to be dizzying. I'm leaving for Negros tonight to visit tita's wake. So after going to Sotto this afternoon to interview and assess my patient/s for next week's duty, I'm going straight home to get my things. Then I'll leave for the pier. The ship will depart late in the evening. Before day breaks I'll be in Dumaguete. Hopefully I can get to Sanke at around 8. I'll stay there for a couple of hours or more then I'll head back again for Dumaguete. Hopefully I can catch a fast craft trip there so I can reach Cebu for just an hour. If not I'll have to take the longer route - ride a pump boat from Sibulan to Liloan, then catch a vhire or a Ceres bus to take me back home in Minglanilla. I'll have an extra time to wash up and change to my uniform so I can report to Sotto before my shift starts at 10 in the evening. Mahuman amo shift 6 AM, so uli dayn ko to get some sleep, then wake up to read up on my patient's case and make a pathophysiology of the disease. Whew.

I'll actually be bringing along with me my Medical-Surgical book, NANDA, and Pathophysiology book so I can write the written requirements for the duty on the ship!

I miss Negros and I miss travelling by sea. I miss riding the Ceres bus... I miss Dumaguete. I'm happy I can visit it again, even though mulabay lang ko. Enough na nga makakita ko balik sa Negros. I miss the time my pangga and I spent there two years ago.

Goodbye, tita

Tita Epil died today. She had cancer. She was fighting the disease for about 8 years. Siguro time na jud niya.

She has suffered for many years. She even had her right arm amputated because of severe edema. We can't imagine the agony and the suffering she went through all these years. It has exacted such a huge toll on her and her family -- the expenses they incurred with the innumerable admission to hospitals, the expensive medicines, laboratory tests, and consultations with different doctors. (It cost them a fortune!) She was brave. She faced the terrible disease with such calmness and resilience, and there was no trace of self-pity in her.

At least she can now rest in peace. We mourn her passing but actually things are better for her now. Infinitely better, because she is now with our Lord, and free from the suffering of her terrible physical condition. We miss her because she is no longer physically present with us.

She died in Dumaguete. Her wake will be in her family's home in Sanke, Negros Oriental.

My first port-mortem care

I experienced my first post-mortem care last week in Sotto (VSMMC). The patient was an 83 year old man. I didn't know what his case was, he was not under our group's care. I noticed days earlier that his condition was already dire, because he was having difficulty breathing. He was using an oxygen setup and a few times he "slipped away". But the doctors/interns were able to bring him back. That particular day, however, he was already unresponsive. He wouldn't respond to the CPR, nor to the emergy drugs. Her daughter was barely able to control her crying when it dawned on them that he was already dead.

Our clinical instructor got three of us guys to do the post-mortem. We put on our gloves. Lolo was so heavy (He looked as if he was only asleep). Our CI told us to tie his wrists together as well as his legs. I asked myself if it's okay to do that, because it seemed a harsh thing to do. I was also sensitive to lolo's family members who were there observing us. Anyway, we went ahead and did it. I held his wrists and blood flowed out from his punctured skin where the IV used to be attached. I was too cautious, I couldn't do what I'm supposed to do right. Fortunately, my two classmates were very efficient and calm. Me, I was sweating profusely. Sweat ran down my forehead like a river. I looked ridiculous, which prompted my CI to ask if she could take down my glasses so I can wipe off my sweat... tsk tsk tsk. Then we wrapped him in a white blanket, then secured it with a string around his shoulder and legs. Then we attached the identification cards.

Death is a common occurence in Ward IX. People die there literally everyday. The staff nurses there are used to it. Nindut unta if naay role ang mga nurses to console the departed's love ones. Lain man gud if namatyan ka and then makita nimo nga ang hospital personnel are just there watching you at a distance, seemingly indiffirent to your loss.

"Make me a channel of your peace..."

This song based on St. Francis' prayer is so beautiful. I realized this at mass tonight.

It has particular relevance for me because I'm currently experiencing an internal turmoil. I won't elaborate what it's all about. Suffice it to say it's school-related. It partly has something to do about the fact that we're having an exam tomorrow and I haven't studied yet (and I promised myself I was going to devote my Sunday to reading my textbook, and I didn't), and partly because I'm having difficulty trying to understand my new classmates.

Make Me A Channel Of Your Peace

Make me a channel of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me bring Your love,
Where there is injury, Your pardon Lord,
And where there's doubt, true faith in You

Make me a channel of your peace,
Where there's despair in life let me bring hope,
Where there is darkness - only light,
And where there's sadness, ever joy

Oh Master, grant that I may never seek,
So much to be consoled as to console,
To be understood, as to understand,
To be loved, as to love with all my soul

Make me a channel of your peace,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
In giving to all men that we recieve,
And in dying that we're born to eternal life